Crushing on Love (The Bradens of Peaceful Harbor, Book Four) Read online

“Now you’ve baffled me.” She slid her finger into the waistband of his jeans and felt his abs flex.

  “Hasty decisions,” he said, as if he were reminding himself what they were talking about. “Good intentions only go so far. People lie. They lose sight of priorities, or they have them all wrong from the beginning. It’s a fatal flaw.”

  “Fatal flaw? Don’t we have too many flaws to count?”

  “Yes.” His jaw tightened, and something dark passed over his face. “But you, my happy-go-lucky little butterfly, don’t live your life avoiding relationships because of them.”

  Chapter Seven

  STEVE KNEW WHAT he’d said was heavy, especially for a girl like Shannon, who saw the best in everyone, but he couldn’t take the chance that she might hope for something that could never happen. He moved her hand from his waistband and stepped back, giving her space to process what he’d said.

  “I’ve been the popular guy, Shannon. The kind of guy you’re used to, who hangs out in crowds and at bars. Being in the middle of all that chaos, the gossip, the manipulations wasn’t who I wanted to be. Once I stopped worrying about that crap, like what people might think of me, and decided to follow my passion, I found what made me truly happy. Protecting this land and the wildlife on it is more than a job to me. A forest fire that wipes out hundreds of acres, an animal that dies from a poacher, those aren’t just bad days at the office. Those are tragedies to me.”

  “I understand that,” she said empathetically. “I care about all of that, too. That’s why I went into biology and natural resources in the first place.”

  “Then you understand why I’ll probably never be a live-in-town kind of guy, why I want to fight for the Cumberland land. There’s a natural order in nature. With people, any natural order is affected by things they do and sometimes by things they aren’t even aware of doing. A misread look, misplaced pride, a moment of idiocy.” He shot her a serious look and stepped in closer, finally giving in to the heat within him and clutching her hips. “Like when I pushed you to go out with Will.”

  “Aha! So you admit you sort of pushed me into that but really didn’t want me to go out with him.”

  He shrugged. “I’m human. Flawed. What can I say?”

  “Chalk one up for me not misreading you.” She licked her finger and pretended to chalk one up.

  “You’re insanely cute.”

  She licked her finger and chalked up another point.

  “It makes it really hard for me to keep from shutting up and kissing you.”

  She licked her finger and held it up but didn’t strike a point. “I’m ready if you are.”

  “There’s something else you need to know.”

  She wiggled her finger. “I get it. You’re careful about trusting people. So? I’m trustworthy. I don’t see the issue. Now let’s get to the kissing part.”

  He grabbed her finger and pressed a kiss to the tip of it. “Slow down. There’s the bigger reason I’m not kissing you senseless right now.”

  “Bigger?” She licked her lips.

  He couldn’t take his eyes off of her mouth. “Bigger,” he stammered. “And just for the record, be careful what you wish for. Even though I’ve been trying not to rush to the bedroom, I have no control there either. I know once we kiss, we won’t stop until we’ve taken everything from each other.”

  She swallowed hard. “I like the not stopping part, too. You’re such a tease.”

  He clenched his jaw to stifle a curse. “You’re killing me.”

  “Then spit it out, Grizz. What’s a girl got to do to get a kiss from you?”

  “Slow down, city girl. This is important because you are important.” He held her tight, fighting the urge to kiss her. “My lifestyle isn’t one many women want to deal with for the long haul. Especially not a woman like you.”

  “But I lik—”

  He shook his head, silencing her. He knew better than to try to placate each other with promises they’d never keep. “I don’t want to hear about how you love it up here, or how people change, or we’ll figure it out. We have an expiration date, Shannon.”

  She scoffed. “An expiration date? That’s…”

  “Realistic.”

  “Okay. I guess you could look at it that way. But this is my body, my emotions, my choice.”

  “I’m not arguing that it’s your decision. But a man always protects the people he cares about. That means I have to suck it up and slow down enough to think about how satisfying my own selfish desires might affect you in the long run.”

  “I’m right here, willing to do this. I want you, but you’re putting on the brakes. I came here to get out from under my family’s thumbs, to find myself and make my own decisions, and if I want to fall in bed with you, it’s my decision.”

  “I’m trying to protect you from getting hurt. Do you think it was easy to walk away from you when the only thing I wanted to do was take you in my arms and show you how I feel about you? Do you think it’s easy to keep my hands off of you right now and say any of this?”

  He swept an arm around her waist and pulled her against him, watching her eyes widen and then darken at the feel of his arousal.

  “I don’t want to be your cross-country rebellion hookup. I only sleep with people I care about, and I care about you enough to ask you to slow down and think this through with me so we don’t regret it later.”

  “Is that what you meant when you said I was asking the wrong guy if all relationships had to lead somewhere? Because you don’t do hookups?”

  “I don’t do casual sex.”

  Her brow wrinkled, and she searched his eyes. He knew she saw the sincerity in them.

  “You’re not my rebellion hookup. Cal could have been. Heck, Will could have been. Either of them would have probably jumped my bones if I had let them, so I’m pretty sure I could have gotten that out of my system without you if that’s what I was looking for. Which I’m not.”

  “Just the thought of them touching you kills me,” he ground out.

  “Exactly. I am thinking, Steve. I want to be with you.”

  He held on to that with the strength of a giant but needed to know she’d thought this through and understood their limitations. Hell, he needed to hear it again.

  “This is what it is, Shannon. Limited.” His words came faster, heated. “No matter what either of us may hope for later, our lifestyles are too different. With the Cumberland deal looming, I don’t even know if I have room in my life for a relationship. I don’t want to hurt you. A few weeks of pleasure is not worth that. We go in with our eyes open or we don’t go in at all.”

  She banged her forehead to his chest. “Can’t you just be one of those guys who doesn’t think past this second?”

  “Not with you. And you don’t want that. Regardless of your sexual bravado, you’re a sensitive, sensual woman. You want to be loved, not used. I see it in your eyes.”

  She didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to. He saw agreement in her eyes, felt it in her fingers tightening around him.

  “I won’t make promises I can’t keep. I know with complete certainty that being with you will be like stepping into heaven, and if you feel even half of what I do, then when you leave we’ll both be falling into hell.” He paused, letting the truth settle in. “I won’t promise you the world, Shan. I can’t. I won’t promise you any more than these few weeks.”

  She pressed her hand to his chest, and he cupped her cheeks, tasting her desire on her breath, seeing it in the darkening of her eyes.

  “Once I get my first taste of you, there’s no turning back. I need to know we’re both on the same page. No fantasies of my giving up the mountain to get lost in your world, or you changing or giving up what you love to get lost in mine. No dreams of a house in suburbia with a white picket fence and two point five children.”

  “Who are you trying to convince?” she asked breathlessly. “Me or you?”

  He gazed into her eyes, and the truth came easily. “Maybe a little o
f both.”

  He brushed his lips over hers. “I have to kiss you now.”

  The sexiest, neediest “Yes” sailed from her lips.

  “Same page?”

  “Same page,” she whispered.

  As their mouths came together, he tried not to think about what was going to happen in a few weeks when she went back to her life and he was still on the mountain, wishing she’d never left.

  THE FIRST TOUCH of Steve’s lips stole Shannon’s breath. He kissed her unexpectedly slowly and tenderly. With each slide of his tongue, he tightened his hold, taking the kiss deeper, claiming more of her. As the cool night air sailed over her heated flesh, his tongue searched and swept, seducing her with its perfect rhythm. He grasped the back of her head with both hands, holding her right where he wanted her, angling her head so she opened wider for him. He took the kiss deeper, probing hard and erotic, then soft and sensual, making her entire body clench, then melt, then clench again. He kissed her like he’d studied and practiced, honing the craft of kissing for this very moment. He kissed her like he never wanted to stop—and she hoped he never would. He nipped at her lips, licked them, sucked them into his mouth, until she was mewing and moaning in a deliciously delirious state.

  “Love kissing you,” he said in a low breath, and took her in another intoxicating kiss.

  Their bodies rubbed and ground, their tongues danced, and he fisted his hands in her hair, tugging just hard enough to alight all of her senses anew. Heat invaded her core, her limbs, the very tips of her fingers and toes, stealing the strength from her legs. He held her tighter, pressing all his hard heat against her, and she went a little wild, pawing at his back and shoulders, his arms and scrumptiously tight butt. She held his hips to hers, grinding against his eager cock. He moaned into the kiss, and it vibrated through them, stirring even more scintillating desires.

  Their mouths parted slowly, breathless and unwilling, stealing another kiss, then another, and—Oh God, she didn’t want to stop. He touched his forehead to hers, and she breathed in his musky scent, salivating over the lingering taste of him. Her lips tingled and burned, and her mouth still felt possessed. She felt him everywhere.

  “More—” Before the full demand left her lungs, he captured her mouth again, taking her hard and exquisitely passionately. She gave herself freely, kissed him hungrily, getting lost in the heady sensations rippling through her as his hot, velvety mouth claimed her neck. Every press of his lips sent her heart tumbling, her world spinning. He blazed a path around to her nape, sucking and sinking his teeth into her sensitive skin. She felt the effects pulsing between her legs.

  “Grizz,” came out like a plea.

  She curled her fingers into his hair. The strength of his mouth, the sound of him devouring her, obliterated everything. When he crushed his mouth to hers again, he brought her right up to the edge. And when he softened the kiss, tantalizing shivers whispered down her limbs.

  Their lips met in a series of feathery kisses. She was clutching his hair; he was holding her cheeks, and there beneath the moonlight, as their eyes fluttered open and their gazes met, a silent, powerful connection formed.

  “Be mine, Butterfly,” he whispered. “For a day, a week, however long you can stand it. Let’s see where this goes. No other guys’ hands on you. When you’re with me, you’re mine.”

  “I thought…” She tried to get her brain to form a rational thought, but she was still floating in the clouds. “The kisses. I thought that’s what they meant.”

  His lips curved into a sexy smile. “I was jealous as hell the other night, thinking of you and Cal. I’ve never been jealous in my life.”

  He kissed her again, and she melted against him.

  “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the wedding,” he said, and kissed her again.

  “You wasted a lot of time. We could have been kissing for all those weeks. We could have been—”

  His mouth came gently down over hers in another sweet, tender kiss.

  “Did you just shut me up with a kiss?”

  He smiled and pressed his lips to hers again.

  “I’m going to talk about nonsense now; you realize that, don’t yo—”

  Another luscious kiss.

  “This is going to become a problem you can’t keep up with, because if I have it my way, I’ll—”

  He scooped her into his arms and kissed her as he carried her to the porch.

  “I could kiss you for days,” she said. “Weeks. Months—” He captured her mouth again, laughing against her lips as he reached for her laptop.

  “Your allure is dangerous,” he said, somehow opening the door to his cabin while holding her and the laptop. He kicked it open wide and stood at the threshold.

  “Dangerous good, or…?”

  “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

  He took her in another mind-blowing kiss.

  “We should slow down.” He moved that sensual mouth of his to her jaw. “If we do this, eventually you’ll go back to your life in Maryland, and I’ll still be here,” he said between kisses. “Months from now, when we’ve both moved on, we’ll see each other at extended family functions. Can we handle that? Act like nothing’s changed? Move on?”

  “We’re adults. We’ll be fine.” She knew it wasn’t true, but she wanted him too badly to pick it apart. She arched her neck, and his tongue glided up the center, ending in a tantalizing suck. “Oh God, Grizz.”

  He gazed into her eyes and said, “You should take time to think. To be sure.”

  “I’m done thinking.”

  He carried her through the living room, slowing only to set the laptop on a table. His cabin was dark, save for the moonlight sneaking in through the windows. This was the first time she’d been inside, and she inhaled deeply, wanting to take it all in at once. It smelled just as she’d imagined it would, woodsy and earthy mixed with brawn and raw desire. It smelled like him. Her eyes swept over the simple wooden desk and comfy-looking sofa as he carried her to the bedroom.

  She breathed harder at the sight of his king-sized bed. She’d fantasized about this moment for so long, and suddenly she was very, very nervous. Her eyes skittered over the fireplace on the far wall and the picture window across from the bed. There were no curtains, which gave her pause, even though there was no one around for miles. The furniture was heavy, masculine. He sank down to the edge of the bed, cradling her on his lap, and kissed her again. His hand slid up and down her thigh in long, slow strokes, each one stealing more of her thoughts.

  “I can’t wait to get my mouth on these incredible thighs,” he whispered against her cheek, and her breath rushed from her lungs. “Mm. My girl likes that idea as much as I do.” He pulled the collar of her sweater away from her neck and sealed his mouth over her skin in a series of openmouthed kisses.

  “No bra?” His hand moved beneath the back of her shorts, brushing over her bare ass, and he groaned. “No panties?”

  The predatory look in his eyes nearly stole her voice, but she managed a shaky whisper. “I was in a hurry. I…I didn’t plan on coming here.”

  “You are a sexy thing.” He kissed her as he reached for the blanket and yanked it to the foot of the bed.

  Oh God. Her heart was going to burst. This was really happening. In minutes all those glorious muscles, that wicked mouth, and the big, caring man were going to be all hers. He set her on the bed and knelt to take off her boots. He slipped them off and kissed the tops of each foot before removing his own boots and setting them beside hers, smiling, as if he liked seeing them side by side.

  His rough hands slid up her calves, squeezing every few inches, his eyes locked on hers. Her insides didn’t flutter—they raced. He trailed tender kisses from her ankle to her knee and traced the ridge of her kneecap with his tongue. She’d never felt anything so sensual, so unexpected. Her hips rocked involuntarily, heat pooling in her core. He pulled his shirt over his head, and she reached out to touch him. She’d seen him without his shirt many tim
es, but seeing him now, in his dimly lit bedroom, looking at her like he’d waited his whole life for this moment, made everything more intense. She swallowed hard as he splayed his hands on her thighs and pushed them open, his eyes boring into her. God, he was so hot, and she was trembling like a leaf.

  He dragged his tongue up her inner thigh, stopping at the edge of her shorts, and sealed his mouth over her skin. She nearly shot off the bed with the intensity of him sucking and licking so close to her sex. She fisted her hands in the sheets and slammed her eyes shut as shocks of lust burst through her.

  “You are so sweet,” he whispered. “So sexy. I want to love every inch of you.”

  He moved from one thigh to the other, and she heard herself groan. Her hips rose from the mattress as he slicked his tongue over her skin again and again, until she was a writhing, needy mess. She’d never been touched like this. Cherished, teased, appreciated. When he rose to his feet and took her hand, bringing her up beside him, her legs gave out.

  “I’ve got you,” he whispered, and kissed her deeply.

  Holding her up with one hand, he worked the button on her shorts with the other. His palm slid down her belly, over her mound, and his thick fingers pushed between her wet lips. She moaned into their kiss, her hips bucking forward as he teased her, sliding his finger in and out of her wetness, making her sex swell and ache for more. When he found her most sensitive nerves, he played them like he’d been touching her his whole life. He sped up the kiss, taking her up, up, up, then slowed, kissing her softly, making her crave and plead for more. Just when she felt herself disappearing into the slower pace, he intensified the kiss, quickening his strokes between her legs at the same time, until all she could feel, all she could see, taste, or want was him. He kept her there, in the exquisitely painful place between release and pleasure—wanting, needing, begging for more. She was shocked and embarrassed at how quickly she neared the edge and how desperately she was clinging to him, thrusting and moaning like an addict.

  He tore his mouth from hers and sucked her lower lip, groaning as he pushed his finger deep inside her. His thumb touched her swollen nerves and lights burst behind her closed lids. Her sex pulsed, her fingernails pierced his arms, and he captured her cries in another earth-shattering kiss that made her detonate all over again.