Crushing on Love (The Bradens of Peaceful Harbor, Book Four) Read online

  She stepped from the Jeep and picked up one of the glass jars, inspecting it more closely. There were no batteries, no wires, but a handful of sticks and leaves and tiny flickering lights that looked like fireflies. How did you do this?

  She followed the lighted trail, hope soaring with every step. On the porch she found a card tucked into the doorjamb. The paper was the recycled type, off-white with dark specs like vanilla bean ice cream. On the front of the card was a sketch of wildflowers. She ran her finger over them and the pencil marks smeared.

  You drew these for me?

  Her heart swelled, overwhelming her.

  She opened the card and saw, for the first time ever, Steve’s handwriting. It was slightly slanted to the right, strong and dark. It looked confident and fluid, like him. As she read the harsh note, all those romantic feelings came to a screeching halt. Mr. Contradiction had struck again.

  Predators come out at night. Keep a light on.

  Chapter Six

  BEFORE HEADING OUT for his morning run, Steve drew a map of the mountain, marking fox dens and landmarks, and carried it through the woods to Shannon’s cabin. It had taken all of his willpower not to give in to his desires the other night. He’d slept like hell, and then she hadn’t come around all day, which had been torture in and of itself. Not to mention that last night had been another sleepless night, thinking about her in that sexy little outfit dancing with Lord knew who. He’d swung by her cabin at around eleven thirty, and it was pitch-dark. He hated that she was out at a bar that late, and he worried about her coming home alone. At least he hoped she’d been alone. He’d heard her drive in about an hour later.

  Didn’t she know to leave her porch light on? This wasn’t suburbia. Threats in the wild didn’t have warning labels or flashing lights. They had sharp teeth, fierce claws, and the ability to stalk and kill in the blink of an eye. He’d wanted to wait on her porch to make sure she got inside safely, but she wasn’t his to protect. And worse, what if she’d come home with Cal or some other guy? He definitely didn’t need to be there for that.

  His chest tightened at the sight of the jars he’d left for her. The solar lights would soak up the sun today and light her way tonight—for whatever she had planned. Damn, he hated this shit. Why did the one woman he wanted have to be someone who lived halfway across the country and would never be content with his lifestyle? He set the map on the porch, glad there weren’t two cars in the driveway, and went on his way.

  He made the rounds while he was out for his run and found a tree had fallen across one of the trails a few miles from his cabin. There went his day. After his run he checked his email, something he hated doing for the mere fact that he abhorred doing anything online, but it was part of his job. It wasn’t that he hated technology; he simply disliked the way it usurped people’s lives. He read through the morning reports, noting the locations of bears and mountain lion sightings, then moved on to checking his voicemail. His mother’s cheerful voice came though the line. She must have called when he was out last night. She’d found a box of his things in the cellar and thought he might want it. It was too early to call, so he made a mental note to try her later.

  He hadn’t heard back from the calls he’d made about the Cumberland property, but he knew he’d hear shortly. He had a good rapport with the people he’d reached out to. Of course, a good rapport didn’t mean squat when it came to shelling out the kind of money needed to acquire the property.

  He spent most of the afternoon taking care of the downed tree, which was a blessing in disguise. He not only needed the distraction but also the space to clear his mind. As the hours passed, his thoughts remained on Shannon. He had a feeling he could move to Kalamazoo and she’d still be right there, taking up his every thought with her vibrant smile and those gorgeous hazel eyes. Her eyes pulled him in time and time again, the way they went from excited to seductive in the space of a second.

  By late afternoon, the only thing that had become clear was that being a good guy sucked.

  He hiked down by the ridge where he’d seen the kids partying the other day and was pleased to see there were no signs of them. He checked on a few other trails, trying to keep his mind off of the one person he wanted to find, but it was a losing battle. Unable to resist, he finally took a detour and hiked to two of the fox dens he’d marked on the map. Disappointment welled in the pit of his stomach when she wasn’t at either of them. He wondered if she was thinking about him and cursed himself for wondering. Not only had she gotten under his skin, but she’d crawled into his brain and charmed him like a snake.

  On his way back to the cabin, he came across a goshawk lying among the brush. He crouched beside the seemingly dead bird and inspected it more closely. It was unconscious but still breathing. He looked up at the trees, wondering what had happened. Normally, he’d use his heavy gloves to handle a raptor, as they could tear a person up. But he had no idea how much time the bird had been out and he was still a long way from the cabin. By the time he got there and back, a predator could eat the bird. He pulled out his phone and called Jo Finney, the local raptor rehabber and a close friend.

  She answered on the first ring. “How’s my favorite mountain man?”

  I suck. I’ve fallen for a woman I should stay away from but can’t. “That depends. Are you tied up at the moment?”

  Jo and Steve had gotten together one summer when he was home from college, but they lacked the deep emotional connection they both desired from a partner and decided they made better friends than lovers. It was the right choice, and Steve had never regretted their very brief affair or the end of it. He’d learned a lot about himself when they were together, most importantly, that he wasn’t the kind of guy who wanted casual sex without an emotional connection. That felt like a lifetime ago, and now Jo’s biological clock was ticking and she was searching for Mr. Right. Steve wasn’t searching at all, but he had a feeling Ms. Right was flitting around his cabin door.

  “Not to a bedpost or anything,” she teased.

  “Sorry to hear that.” Tied to a bedpost was their code for being in a long-term, meaningful relationship.

  “Yeah, me too,” she said sullenly. “What’s up?”

  “Found an injured goshawk. He’s concussed, with a hurt wing. I’m about two miles out from the cabin, without gloves or a box to transport him.”

  “Got a shirt you can wrap him up in, or are you out streaking?”

  He shook his head, although getting naked in the woods with Shannon had crossed his mind too many times today. Now it was all he could think about. Taking her against a tree, on the ground, in the meadow. In my bed. There was no room in his life for heartache and complications, but he had a feeling he was already too far gone to turn back.

  SHANNON FINISHED HER research notes and looked over the map Steve had left on her porch. It was either him or forest pixies. She smiled. Steve, a player? The man wouldn’t even give her a single kiss. But he’d light up my driveway and draw me a map that looks like it took hours to make.

  She sighed. He’d detailed the locations of fox dens and outlined routes to each one. He’d indicated landmarks along each route, including types of trees and shrubs, ridges and steep terrain, distance from her cottage, escape routes in case of fire. Seriously? Fire? At least she’d made progress today.

  Thanks to Mr. Frustrating’s map.

  As kind of a gesture as it was, she’d still stewed over the darn thing all day. He’d left it on her porch without a note. Maybe after the tone of last night’s note that was a blessing in disguise, although she wasn’t sure what to make of anything with him anymore. The lights were sweet and romantic, as was the picture he’d drawn on the note. But that note? She couldn’t get past the harshness of it. It felt cold and clipped. Like a reprimand wrapped in a pretty bow.

  Was the map supposed to send the message that he would no longer go out with her when she was doing her research? Or was it meant to help her in his absence?

  She slammed her no
tebook closed, grabbed the map, and shoved her feet into her boots. She was frustrated and she needed answers, if for no other reason than to wrap her head around the idea that he was done. Done with what? We haven’t even started. Have we? She stood at the counter thinking about the way he’d touched her the other night, the near kiss that had sent her hopes soaring, the seductive things he’d said. It wasn’t like she’d asked him to have sex with her. Okay, maybe the thought had crossed her mind a dozen or so times, but that wasn’t really what she’d been after. She’d just wanted him to open up, to test the waters. They weren’t kids, and there was no one standing in their way.

  She looked down at the map and softened. She owed him a thank-you, and yes, maybe a little grief for not having the decency to leave a note, but definitely a thank-you for the map. Before walking out the door, she grabbed her laptop, which was still open to the crowdfunding research she’d been doing yesterday afternoon. She could repay him for the map by explaining crowdfunding to him so at least he’d have some options to think about.

  With her pulse racing, she headed down the narrow path toward Steve’s cabin, wishing she’d at least thrown on jeans. She was chilly in her shorts, but she’d been hot after she’d come back from hiking all over the mountain. Even a shower hadn’t cooled her off. That could have been because she’d thought about mountain-stud Steve and his giant ax while she showered.

  A little voice in her head told her to play it cool. But she had too big of a mouth to play anything cool. She hummed to quiet the voice in her head as she navigated around tree branches. After a minute or two she realized she was humming “Legendary Lovers” by Katy Perry.

  Oh boy, I’ve got it bad.

  She forced herself to stop humming and let the warning voice in her head battle it out with her cosmic-loving heart.

  When she came to the edge of the woods by Steve’s cabin, she saw a green truck parked behind his, and she stopped in her tracks—but her mind kept tumbling forward. Did it belong to one of his girlfriends? Did he have girlfriends? Did he have a girlfriend? She had no idea, and he’d been so closemouthed about himself that it was no wonder she had no idea. Wouldn’t he have told her if he had a girlfriend? Wouldn’t Jade have said something? What if this was a new girlfriend? Maybe he didn’t go into town because he was too busy making out with Green Truck Girl.

  Her stomach turned over. She looked down at the map. That would explain his not wanting to be alone out on the mountain with her. Especially after I threw myself at him.

  The cabin door opened and a pretty blonde stepped outside. She swung her hair over her shoulder, flashing a vibrant smile at Steve, who was one step behind her, carrying a big wooden box. His eyes swept over the yard and landed on Shannon. Jesus, did he have a LoJack on her? She held her breath, hoping she would evaporate into the woods.

  His eyes narrowed, and a serious expression replaced his friendly smile. The blonde followed his gaze to Shannon, and she shifted curious eyes between the two of them.

  “Shannon,” Steve said. It wasn’t a warm greeting, though it wasn’t mean. He sounded sort of confused, which told Shannon exactly what the map had meant. It was his way of putting an end to the time they spent alone together.

  “Hi,” she managed. “I just…” Need to turn around and go home.

  “You got the map,” he said, setting the wooden box in the back of the woman’s truck.

  Shannon held up the map. “Yeah. I was coming by to say thank you.”

  He nodded.

  The blonde waved and smiled. She really did have a pretty smile and eyes as green as grass. “Hi, I’m Jo Finney. You must be Shannon.”

  “Yes,” she said, wondering how she knew her name. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  Jo opened her truck door and said, “Steve told me you were staying up the road and doing research. I run the raptor rehab center in town. It’s nice to meet you.”

  She kissed Steve on his cheek, and Shannon tried to turn away, but she couldn’t. Watching her kiss Steve was like watching a train wreck. She was powerless to look away. She had a sick need to dissect every second of it.

  “I’d better get this guy down the mountain,” Jo said. “I’ll let you know how he does.”

  “Thanks,” Steve said absently, eyes locked on Shannon as he closed Jo’s door. He leaned in the open window and spoke to Jo privately. Then he tapped the roof of her truck twice and Jo pulled out, waving to Shannon as she drove away.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Shannon said quickly. “I just wanted to say thank you for the map. And the lights.”

  “No problem. I hope the note didn’t cause you any trouble last night.”

  “Trouble?”

  He shrugged. “If you brought someone home, I’m sure finding a note from another guy wouldn’t be a good thing.”

  “Oh my God. You thought I would bring a guy back with me? After I practically threw myself at you? You’re so thickheaded.”

  “Thanks. I’ll take that to mean I’m thoughtful for not leaving a note that might mess things up for you.” He cracked a smile as he closed the distance between them. His slate-blue eyes slid down her body, taking care of that pesky chill she’d felt earlier. “What’s with the laptop?”

  “Oh.” I forgot I had it. “I, um…” Her mind was too stuck on Jo to move on to anything else. “I wanted to show you something, but was that…? Is she your…? Is Jo…?” She felt her cheeks flush, and his eyes filled with amusement.

  “An alien?” he teased.

  “If that’s what aliens look like, we mere mortals haven’t got a chance.”

  He took her laptop from her, then laced his fingers with hers and led her toward the porch. His hand was big and rough, and as she had the other night, she loved the feel of it. Also like the other night, his conflicting messages confused her.

  “Why are you holding my hand?”

  “Because I have a feeling you’re in some weird competition with an alien and I didn’t want you tripping.” He placed the laptop and map on the porch and stepped closer. “And maybe because I liked holding it the other night.”

  Her heart skipped, then skidded. She couldn’t take another roller-coaster ride. “You blew me off the other night. What if I don’t want to hold your hand?”

  He released her hand, and she instantly regretted her comment.

  “I didn’t blow you off,” he said gruffly.

  “What would you call it?”

  “Being careful.” He placed his hand on her hip, drawing her closer.

  He felt so good, her resolved softened.

  “Look, I know I’m not like the guys you’re probably used to. I’ll never be a city boy, and I have no interest in living life off the mountain.”

  Her body ached to lean forward and press into him, but she forced herself to remain distant. “So?”

  The genuine concern in his eyes caused the brakes she’d applied to slip again.

  “Shannon, I can’t do this anymore.”

  Her heart tanked. Splat! Right to the ground. “Can’t…?”

  “Can’t fight it.”

  Her breath left her lungs in one hard exhalation.

  “I’m totally into you, Shan, despite the fact that I’m not racing to the bedroom.”

  “I’m not trying to race to the bedroom, either.” It came out too fast and defensive.

  “I don’t think you are,” he assured her. “But I think you’re used to guys who don’t slow down enough to think things through, or maybe I misread that. I’m not thinking clearly lately. The other thing I know for sure is that I cannot get you out of my mind. And trust me when I say I’ve tried to stop thinking about you.”

  “And you think I dole out compliments?” She laughed softly, earning a sexy smile.

  “I’m a dumbass, what can I say? It was unfair to say what I did the other night and not explain it. I’m sorry.” His eyes went serious again. “The truth is, I’m not looking for a hookup, and I’m not looking for a wife. I’m not looking
for anything, which is why I’m trying to be careful with what’s happening between us. The sheer force of our attraction, the energy between us, has blindsided me.”

  His eyes grazed down her body, and he held her tighter. She felt like the trees were closing in on them, heat and torment whirring around them, binding them together in a tense, conflicted bubble.

  “It’s hell keeping my hands off of you in those skimpy shorts, when all I can think about is how your legs would feel wrapped around me.” He drew in a long breath. “Everything about you makes me crazy, not just your looks, but…You wear hiking boots with flashy pink laces, which are perfectly you and a world away from me. And knowing you don’t slow down enough to put on socks? Christ, Shan. I’ve spent a shameful amount of time wondering what else you don’t slow down enough to put on.”

  She swallowed hard to try to stop her insides from revving too hard.

  “We’re so different, but I can’t stop wanting you.” He stepped closer, and she stumbled back, hitting the porch railing. “I want to know so much more about you.” His hands slid down her hips, pressing into the sides of her ass. “More than just how you’ll feel lying naked in my arms.”

  “Me too.” Her voice cracked. She hadn’t expected to hear any of this, no matter how much she craved it, and hearing him say all these sexy things made it hard for her to think, much less speak.

  “But I’ve seen how making hasty decisions can hurt people. I don’t want that. Not for either of us. You need to understand why I’m not taking you in my arms and kissing you senseless.”

  Her mouth went dry.

  “Christ,” he muttered. “That look kills me.”

  “Um…” She bit her lower lip. “Can we explore the kissing senseless part a little more?”

  He lifted her hand and pressed his warm, soft lips to the back of it, stepping in close again. “I hope so, but hear me out, because the last thing I want is for us to have any misunderstandings and for you to be hurt.”