Healed by Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens) Page 9

  “Not a chance.” He splayed his hand on her back and reveled in the feel of her in his arms. Their bodies swayed sensuously, as if they’d been dancing together forever. Nate had danced only a handful of times in his life, but with Jewel, it felt natural and so damn good he hoped the song never ended.

  Sam caught Nate’s eye, nodded at Jewel, and mouthed, I told you so.

  Nate shook his head, indicating that it wasn’t what it looked like—even if he wanted it to be. But Sam knew him too well and mouthed, Bullshit, before turning his attention to the women draped on either side of him.

  Jewel’s softness molded to the contours of his muscles. Her hands slid up his back, and he liked her possessive touch.

  After the song ended, Jewel remained in his arms and lifted her eyes. “I haven’t danced since I was in college, and it was nothing like that.”

  The way like that sailed seductively off her tongue made it sound like they’d just made love. He had the urge to lean down and kiss her. How the hell was he going to differentiate doing the right thing from doing what felt too right to deny?

  He steeled himself against the wanting look in her eyes. He couldn’t keep going hot and cold or he’d drive her away for good.

  They joined the others at the table, and Nate tried to concentrate on the conversation rather than the way Jewel’s leg felt pressed against his. He gripped his glass between two hands and focused on the golden liquid swishing in it, but no matter what he did, the urge to hold Jewel was still there. Sam must have noticed, because he arched a brow and the side of his lips quirked up in a way that said, Just go for it. As much as he loved his siblings, sometimes the fact that they knew him so well was a pain in the ass. He felt trapped, like what he wanted was just beyond his reach.

  Only she wasn’t.

  She was right there beside him.

  Wanting, willing, and smelling like heaven on earth.

  Nate glanced around the deck and felt the pinch of jealousy at the way a guy at the next table was checking out Jewel.

  The hell with it. Nate slid a hand beneath the table and covered her palm with it. Jewel trapped her lower lip between her teeth and shifted her eyes to his, brows furrowed in confusion. He knew he’d been sending conflicting signals all night, but he was just protecting her from the other guys in the club.

  At least that’s what he told himself.

  “Nate.” Cole sat back and draped an arm around Tempe’s chair. “How many times have you driven by the old train station since you’ve been back in town?”

  He’d driven by the old train station after he’d dropped Jewel off at her apartment. He couldn’t get the idea of opening the restaurant that he and Rick had dreamed of out of his mind.

  “A few,” he admitted, then noticed that Jewel’s eyes were shadowed with sadness. He squeezed her hand to let her know that he was thinking of Rick, too.

  “I heard the guy who owns the Pantry was thinking about buying it and turning it into a container store of some sort,” Sam said.

  The thought made Nate feel sick. The Pantry was a tacky kitchen shop. “A container store? The station? That place is so rich with character and history. It would get lost in that kind of store.”

  “It really is perfect for a restaurant or a pub,” Ty said. “You know, if you ever do decide to put down roots somewhere and open that place you talked about, I can fill your walls with some of the coolest pics around.”

  “I have no idea what my plans are, but if I ever do, I’m counting on you doing just that, little brother.”

  Jewel’s brows knitted together. “If you don’t stay here, where will you go?”

  He tightened his grip on her hand, mulling over his answer. The truth was, he had no idea where else he might go, and the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to stay right there in Peaceful Harbor. He hated hurting her, but while every kiss brought them closer together, he wasn’t sure it would be enough for him to embrace a future in a place where he felt surrounded by Rick’s ghost. He told her the truth to protect her from falling too hard as much as to protect himself.

  He shrugged. “I haven’t made any decisions, but Colorado, maybe, or Pleasant Hill. We have family there.”

  Jewel’s eyes filled with sadness, driving a knife through his heart.

  “I think you should stick around.” Cole held Nate’s gaze. “You’ve got a great support system here, Nate. Family is everything, and even though you’d be near our extended family, they’re not us. You’ve been away a long time. Maybe it’s time to stay home and put down roots.” Cole had come back to Peaceful Harbor following medical school, and he’d never looked back.

  “That’s easy for you to say, Cole. The biggest demon you have is breaking up with Kenna when you went to med school.” Cole and Mackenna Klein had dated long-distance for two years during college. He’d surprised everyone when he’d broken up with her just before he went away to medical school.

  “Demons come in all shapes and sizes. Don’t judge each other. I hate that.” Tempe tucked her blond hair behind her ear and smiled at Jewel. “How about if we change the subject? Jewel, I was in Chelsea’s the other day, and she said she’s trying to get you to take over as the manager so she can open another location.”

  “She is, but I can’t commit to the hours.”

  Nate heard a touch of regret in her voice.

  “Why not?” Tempe asked.

  “Why not?” A soft laugh escaped Jewel’s lips. “Let’s see… There’s Krissy’s dance lessons. Patrick needs to know that an adult might show up at home at any time to keep him from getting into trouble. Sometimes Mom has to work really late when they’re closing the books, and she’s taking classes, so I make sure the kids get their homework done, dinner, and get to bed on time.”

  “Aren’t they teenagers now?” Sam asked. “Why are you still doing it all?”

  “Patrick is fifteen, and Krissy’s twelve, but she thinks she’s fifteen.”

  Nate felt tension in her grip.

  “My mother’s on her own. She can’t do it all herself, and I don’t mind.”

  “I think it’s commendable, but at some point you need to build your own life, too, don’t you?” Tempe shifted serious eyes to Nate, and he saw the therapist in her coming out.

  “I second that.” Ty lifted his glass. “I’ve been all over our world, and I’ve never regretted it.”

  “That’s great for you, Ty. But our family situation is different from Jewel’s.” Cole shifted a serious look toward Nate. “Although coming home to visit for more than a night or two every few months would be nice for Mom and Dad.”

  “Give him a break, Cole. Not everyone is meant to be a homebody.” Sam glared at Cole for a beat, then shook his head.

  Nate wondered how the conversation had gotten so turned around.

  Cole smiled at Jewel, and thankfully, redirected the conversation. “I think what you’re doing for your family is wonderful, Jewel, but I agree with Tempe. Striking a balance and finding time to enjoy your own life is also important.”

  “I have my own life. I love my job.” Jewel finished her drink and nibbled nervously on her lower lip.

  Nate didn’t like the idea of Jewel feeling picked apart. “Back to me…” He squeezed Jewel’s hand. “Whatever I do, I’ll be sure to spend time here. I missed everyone while I was away. It’s been nice hanging out with you guys again. Even with all the shit you give me.” He eyed Sam.

  “I’m nowhere near done giving you shit, little brother.” Sam finished his drink. “But right now I have two hot women waiting for me.” He stood and patted Ty’s shoulder. “Care to join us? We’re heading to a party.”

  “I’m never one to miss out on a good time.” Ty rose to his feet.

  “Hey, Sammy.” Cole leaned across the table.

  “God, here it comes, the be safe talk.” Sam shot an incredulous look at Cole. “Don’t worry. I’ve got Ty’s back. Nate, find a babe for Cole to hook up with. He’s stuck in responsible-older
-brother mode again.” He leaned down and kissed Tempe’s cheek. “See ya, sis. Jewel, we’ll see you and the kids Wednesday. Let’s go, Ty, before Cole straps one of those tracking bracelets they put on toddlers on you.”

  Nate saw Cole’s jaw working as he watched Ty and Sam walk away.

  “What’s up with you and Ty?” Nate asked.

  Cole shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “He worries about all of us,” Tempe said, patting Cole’s hand. “I’ve got to take off. I have an early client tomorrow. Cole, are you ready? Can you drive me home?” She looked at Jewel. “My car’s in the shop. I hate that.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Cole rose with a sigh. “Nate, let’s catch up soon. Jewel, it was great to see you. I’m glad your ankle is doing better.”

  After they left, Nate finished his drink, feeling the air between him and Jewel shift, as if his siblings had kept it circulating, and with them gone, their togetherness amplified. He was still holding her hand, their legs were pressed together from knee to hip, and she was gazing up at him, her baby blues wide and wanting. And his resolve hadn’t found its way back into place.

  “Would you mind dancing with me one last time?” Jewel asked.

  “You sure your ankle can handle it?” He knew his resolve to keep his distance was on thin ice.

  She nodded.

  The distance between the table and the crowded dance floor was only a few feet, but each step carried conflicting emotions.

  I need to put distance between us.

  I want to hold you.

  I want to kiss you.

  I need to protect you.

  From me.

  Then Jewel was in his arms again, her body swaying against him, making him hard and stealing his ability to think rationally. His hands traveled along the curve of her spine. One settled at the base and the other slid beneath her hair. Nate closed his eyes, relishing the feel of her against him, the heat seeping into his body from hers, the desire building low in his gut. He opened his eyes, sensing the intensity of her gaze. Her lips parted, and her tongue swept across them, shattering his resolve.

  “Jewel,” he whispered as he touched his forehead to hers.

  She pressed her fingers into his back.

  “I want to kiss you,” he admitted.

  “Kiss me, Nate.”

  He searched her eyes, knowing he shouldn’t, knowing he’d be strangled by guilt the moment he stopped kissing her and gave in to what they both wanted. The first touch of her lips was a delicious sensation of warmth and tenderness. The slow, intoxicating kiss pulled him under. He wanted to experience her—all of her. He wanted to love her properly, to let her feel the way his heart beat for her and his body pulsed for her—and he wasn’t going to do that here.

  Or at all.

  Damn it.

  He drew back and touched his forehead to hers again, telling himself he had to do the right thing.

  “Stop thinking, Nate.”

  He heard desire riding a thin swell of desperation in her voice.

  “I have to take you home.”

  Chapter Eight

  JEWEL’S HEART WAS beating so fast she worried she’d pass out from nervousness right there in her apartment complex parking lot before she even got out of the truck. Nate came around to open her door. Desire radiated from the dark look in his eyes to the gentle yet determined way he shifted her toward him. Apparently there was something innate about kissing a man, because every ounce of her reached for him despite her inability to think. Her arms circled his neck, her lips claimed his, and as he gathered her in his arms, her legs locked around his waist. Everything about Nate was hard except his mouth, and God, did she ever love his mouth. He didn’t just kiss her. It was like he was discovering her, exploring the ridge of every tooth, the feel of her tongue from every angle. His kiss was surprisingly gentle for the eagerness she felt spiraling around them.

  He closed the door without breaking their connection.

  “I have to stop kissing you long enough to carry you upstairs.” He kissed her again, a fast press of his lips that left her aching for more.

  “Go. Hurry,” she urged.

  He smiled and kissed her again, before carrying her up the first flight of stairs. He stopped on the landing for another earth-shattering kiss. When they reached the third floor, he pressed her back against the door and deepened the kiss again. She clutched at the back of his head. His mouth was hot and spicy, the taste of alcohol lingering on his tongue as it swept over hers. He fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door. It slammed closed behind them, and he backed her up against it, rocking his hips against hers and freeing his hand to roam beneath her shirt. She held her breath at the first touch of his calloused hand against her bare skin. His hand moved with mastery as he caressed her breast, brushing his thumb over her nipple and sending shivers through her chest.

  “Breathe, baby,” he said against her lips.

  She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath.

  “Fuck it. I’ll breathe for you.”

  He captured her mouth and brought her lungs back to life as his fingers played over her taut nipple in divine ecstasy. Her body was like molten metal in his hands. She’d never gone this far with a guy, and her head tipped back with the sheer pleasure rippling through her. Nate kissed her jaw, her neck, and when he lifted her blouse and lowered the cup of her bra to take her breast in his mouth, she thought she’d died and gone to heaven. Only her body was more alive than it had ever been.

  “Jesus, you’re beautiful.” He righted her bra and captured her stilted breaths in his mouth as he carried her to her bedroom and toed off his shoes.

  He lowered her to the bed and followed her down with a series of shivery kisses.

  “I’ve wanted you for so long.” He sealed his confession with another dreamy kiss.

  She felt his erection straining against his zipper, pressing against her center. She should be more nervous than ever before, but being with Nate quelled the fear. She trusted him, had trusted him her whole life, and when he took her mouth with savage intensity, all thoughts fell away. She groped and tugged, wanting his shirt off, needing his skin against hers. He reached behind his back and pulled his shirt over his head, while she wrestled with her own, desperate for the skin-to-skin contact.

  “Let me,” he whispered.

  He lifted her shirt over her head, then lowered her back to the mattress, kissing the skin he’d exposed on her stomach, her ribs, and between her breasts. Her gaze was riveted to the soft look on his face. His eyes were closed as he kissed and tasted her heated flesh, as if somehow being with her had settled his demons. His fingers moved to the front clasp on her lacy bra, and he opened his eyes, moving up her body and kissing her again. Tenderly this time, unhurried.

  “Tell me to stop,” he whispered.

  She heard the plea in his voice, and it momentarily took her by surprise. She realized what he was asking her to do—to take the decision out of his hands.

  “No.” She didn’t want him to stop. She covered his hands with hers against the clasp.

  He touched his forehead to her chest and breathed deeply.

  “Touch me, Nate.” She had no idea where her confidence was coming from, but she didn’t fight it. She wanted to feel his hands on her, in her, claiming her.

  “Please touch me.”

  He lifted his eyes and held her gaze as he released the clasp. The cups shifted, stopping short of her nipples. His eyes dropped to the path of skin between her breasts, and then he met her gaze again.

  “Jewel, once I see you, touch you, taste you, there’s no turning back. We can’t undo this.” A shadow of worry passed over his eyes.

  Panic swept through her at the thought that he might back away. “I don’t want to turn back, Nate. I want you.”

  He held her gaze as if he were assessing his own thoughts and giving her just enough time to assess hers. She had to tell him that she’d never gone this far before, but she knew he’d back away.

&nbs
p; “Stop thinking, Nate.” Stop thinking, Jewel.

  “Jewel, I have loved you my whole life. I don’t want to screw this up, and honestly, I’m so mired in guilt and worry that I’m not sure where my head will be tomorrow. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  She knew from the look in his eyes that he meant every word he said, and she knew from the way he’d been acting how tough this decision was for him. She hoped to tip the scales in her direction.

  “Your heart is here now, and that’s what matters.”

  NATE’S HEART HAD always been with Jewel, but he knew that wasn’t all that mattered. He couldn’t break her trust like this. He couldn’t move forward with Jewel without being completely honest with her and giving her a chance to walk away. And as the air between them filled with more sexual tension, he knew there was something else he had to do before telling Jewel. This wasn’t his choice to make. He looked into her trusting eyes, and he made the hardest decision of his life.

  With trembling hands, he reconnected the clasp on her bra.

  “Nate?” Her brows furrowed in confusion as he bent to retrieve her shirt and helped her put it on.

  He gathered her in his arms and kissed her forehead. “Sweetheart, I want nothing more than to be with you, but you are too important to me to rush things. I have to get my head on straight so that when we finally come together, we both have clear heads.”

  “Nate,” she whispered. “It was a promise to my brother. You have to get over that at some point.”

  He moved to the edge of the bed. “Yeah. I think that’s the problem, Jewel. I need to figure out if that’s possible.”

  She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “How can I help?”

  He shook his head. No one could help. This was on his shoulders. He was the one alone on the island. He turned and folded her into his arms again to kiss her goodbye.

  “You already have.”

  Chapter Nine

  NATE AWOKE THE next morning to pounding on his door. He pulled on a pair of jeans and dragged ass to answer it. He’d been up all night, frustrated and horny and so freaking angry at everything and everyone he didn’t know which way was up. He couldn’t fault Rick for dying, and he couldn’t fault himself for loving Jewel, so he was left pacing the floor most of the night.