Lovers at Heart, Reimagined Page 9

  “Whose house is this?” Max asked.

  “My father’s.” Her fingers tightened around his, and he said, “We’re not going in. My father is sleeping.” He kissed the back of her hand, and then he came around to help her out. “I thought I’d take you to meet Hope.”

  “Your father won’t mind?” she asked as she stepped from the truck, looking a little nervous.

  “Not at all. He’ll like that Hope gets extra love tonight.” He found Max’s careful nature incredibly alluring. Probably because he was a careful man when it came to matters of the heart. He draped an arm over her shoulder and led her across the lawn toward the barn.

  “It’s gorgeous here. I can’t imagine what it must have been like growing up with all this land.”

  “All this land means lots of chores every morning and night,” he said as he pulled open the barn door and the scents of his youth surrounded them. “My father grew up helping breed Dutch Warmblood show jumpers, and he followed in his father’s footsteps. When I was a kid, I would look out my bedroom window at the barn thinking about how my father’s entire life had revolved around horses and barns. I love my family and I had a great childhood here, but ranch life wasn’t what I wanted back then.”

  “Maybe that’s because of losing your mom. You said you felt relief when you went away to college. Is it hard for you when you come home to visit?”

  Hope craned her neck toward them, reaching for Treat as they came to her stall, her big brown eyes watching Max. “No, actually. Home is where I feel most centered. This is Hope, the horse my father gave my mother when she found out she was sick.”

  “Hi, Hope,” Max said as if she were greeting a relative of his. Hope gently moved her head in Max’s direction, and Max reached up to pet her. “Horses are the most honest creatures, aren’t they?”

  “I’ve never thought about them that way, but yes, I suppose so.”

  “I had a friend in college who grew up on a farm, and she said horses didn’t trick each other like people did. That always stuck with me.”

  “I have a feeling my brother Rex will like you. He’s the biggest horse aficionado in the family. He takes after my father in that way.”

  Hope rubbed her muzzle against Max’s neck, and Max put her hand on the horse’s cheek, holding her there for a moment.

  “Looks like Hope is all for Team Max.” He leaned against the stall, warmed by Max’s easy affection.

  “For what it’s worth, I’m for Team Treat and Max,” she said with a sweet smile.

  He loved that she could be as playful as a girl or as serious as the intelligent woman he knew her to be. “Me too, sweetness.”

  “If Rex inherited your father’s love of horses, in what way do you take after him?”

  Treat crossed his legs at the ankle, thinking about the question. If he believed his father’s thoughts about Hope, he’d say the tender look in Hope’s eyes as they shifted to him were those of his mother, awaiting his answer. But he had enough emotions flowing through him when he was with Max. He didn’t need to add to them.

  “The easy answer is that we look alike, but I assume you want a real answer.”

  She moved in front of him. “It’s been my experience that real is always better than easy.”

  He reached for her hand and planted his legs in a wide stance, guiding her between them.

  “Don’t think you’ll distract me from answering with your wicked kisses.” She slid her fingers into his belt hoops.

  “Distract you?” He pulled her closer and kissed her neck. “Would I do that?”

  She framed his face in her hands. “In a hot second. And it would work, so I’m holding your face right here where I can keep tabs on your mouth. No kisses until you answer.”

  He chuckled. “You drive a hard bargain, Max Armstrong. I like that about you.”

  Hope neighed, her big head bobbing up and down.

  “Apparently, so does Hope. Okay, let’s see. How am I like my father? You’re asking how I’m like the man who I’m not sure anyone could live up to. I’ve admired him my whole life. He’s the strongest man I know emotionally, and when it comes to standing by his beliefs. He’s a shrewd businessman, a ruthless negotiator, and a kind and generous human being. I always thought if I could be half the man he is, I’d consider myself lucky.”

  “I’d say you surpassed your goal.”

  “Why, thank you, sweetheart. But we have our differences. He does business with country charm, while I lost that touch years ago. I’d like to think he taught me how to maintain focus on the human aspects of business deals while not losing my edge. But my father has his downfalls, too. If you cross our family, he doesn’t let that go, as is evident by his long-term feud with his childhood best friend, Earl Johnson. But that’s a story for another day, and thankfully, I didn’t inherit that grudge-holding ability. If I had, Dane and I still wouldn’t be on speaking terms.”

  Max studied his face for a long moment, her brow knitted, as if she was considering what he’d said. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

  “Forgiveness is crucial for your spirit, don’t you think? I’m thankful you don’t hold grudges, or we wouldn’t be here right now.”

  She lowered her gaze to his chest, her smile fading just enough for him to notice. He found her doing that a lot when she was thinking about things, looking anywhere but into his eyes. This time he didn’t lift her chin, curious to see if she trusted him enough to share whatever it was she was mulling over.

  She moved beside him against the stall, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater, and a pained expression settled over her face. “I’m not so sure I don’t hold grudges.”

  His gut seized. He thought they’d moved beyond what happened in Nassau. “What are you saying?”

  “That there’s something I haven’t told you, and I want to be completely honest with you. We got so close in Nassau, and even after just a few dates I think we both know that whatever this is between us, it’s bigger than both of us. I want to keep seeing you, and…I want to see more of you. A lot more.”

  Her innuendo hit him right in the heart. “I want that, too.”

  “Then you need to know why I got so nervous the other night. I should have told you then, but I couldn’t. I was too embarrassed. And the truth is, I was also scared about how strongly I feel for you.”

  “Max, it’s overwhelming for me, too.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad I didn’t misread that.” She looked around the barn and said, “Can we sit here? Is that okay?”

  “Would you rather go for a walk?”

  She shook her head. “No. I feel safe here.”

  She glanced up at Hope, and Treat swore Hope’s big brown eyes were saying, Sit down. Hold her. She needs you. They settled onto the floor, their backs against the rough wood, and Treat pulled her against his side, wanting her to feel safe. He watched her struggling to climb out from the shadow of whatever was haunting her, and he ached to fix whatever it was.

  Max inhaled a shaky breath and stared at her hands in her lap as she spoke. “When I was a senior in college, I dated this guy. Ryan. He was smart and funny, the kind of guy everyone loves. Things were fine for a long time, and we eventually moved in together. But as we got closer to graduation, he changed. I’ve never understood what caused him to change, but he did. He became verbally abusive and withdrawn.”

  Treat’s protective juices were flowing, and he did his best to rein them in. “Go on,” he said. If he hurt you, I’ll kill him.

  “It became a way of life on and off for several weeks. I’m not proud of the fact that I took it. In all honesty, I was weak.” She met his gaze. “You look like you’re ready to explode. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything else.”

  “No. Continue, please.” The thought of someone being abusive to Max pushed every button in his body. The anger coursing through him was stronger than any fury he’d ever felt, but for her sake, he fought to tether the rage. Max needed him to hear this. She trusted him
, and going off about the guy would only scare her.

  “My parents are great,” she said softly. “But my mother and I have never really talked about relationships. We lost my grandmother about ten years ago, but before she passed away, she told me that the secret to a lasting relationship was to always speak my mind. I should have listened, but I think watching my parents for so long had already convinced me that I shouldn’t complain or try to change things.”

  Her brow furrowed, and Treat wondered if she was thinking about her grandmother, or like him, was thinking about how not speaking her mind was the wrong tactic to take in any aspect of life.

  “But now,” she said, “I wonder if my grandmother told me that because of my parents’ relationship. My mother is very submissive. Not that my father is abusive or anything like that. He’s a good, quiet, kind man. But my mom has never really spoken her mind about anything as far back as I can remember.”

  Treat pulled her closer, wanting to protect her from the past he couldn’t control. He thought about Savannah. If any man had ever mistreated her, Treat and his brothers would have broken down the door and wrung his neck. Max didn’t have anyone to protect her.

  “Anyway, he’d grabbed my arm and—Treat, you’re holding me too tight.”

  He unclenched his jaw and eased his grip. “I’m sorry, Max. I don’t want to scare you, but I’d like to kill this lowlife.”

  “There’s more, but I’ll stop—”

  “No, please don’t. I’m not going to track him down like an animal and hurt him. But I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t mad enough to want to do those things.”

  She climbed onto his lap, sitting sideways, and put an arm around his neck. Their closeness brought his anger down a notch. She’s here. She’s safe.

  “This next part is worse,” she said. “You’re not going to like it.”

  “Is that why you’re on my lap? To keep me from getting up, tracking him down, and beating the tar out of him?”

  She didn’t manage a smile, though she tried. “No. It’s because I need to be here while I tell you.”

  “Baby, you’re safe with me. I’ll never hurt you again, and I’ll sure as hell never let anyone else hurt you.”

  “I know. That’s why I want you to hear this sooner rather than later.” She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “What led up to him grabbing me was that he asked me to try a sex toy with him.”

  She looked away, and Treat’s heart tore.

  “It’s okay, sweetness. I’m not going to judge you.”

  “I was young,” she said in a shaky voice, “and I had the guy everyone wanted, so I thought…” She shrugged. “It can’t be that bad. Okay, I’ll try.”

  He didn’t want to hear what that lowlife had done to her, but he wanted Max to heal from all the hurts that plagued her, so he clenched his jaw and gave her his full attention.

  She closed her eyes and spoke in a flat, even tone. “We were in the bedroom, and he had undressed me, but he still had his pants on.”

  Treat felt her trembling. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to, Max.”

  “I want to.” She opened her eyes and looked into his. “He used it, and at first it wasn’t bad. He was being gentle. And then I don’t know what happened. His eyes changed, almost like he became a different person.”

  A tear slipped down her cheek, shredding his heart to pieces. He wiped her tears with the pad of his thumb, struggling to keep his anger in check.

  Max continued speaking, this time with an icy tone. “He was suddenly shoving it into me so hard and saying horrible, nasty things. Cursing at me, calling me names, and somehow…somehow I was able to crawl away from him and grab my clothes. I ran for the door, and that’s when he grabbed my arm.” Tears streamed down her cheeks.

  “Shh. It’s okay,” he said, holding her tighter. “You don’t have to go any further. I get it, sweetheart.” He rubbed her back, silently vowing to track the guy down and rip him to shreds.

  “I want you to know everything.” She wiped her eyes. “He drank a lot of beer and passed out in the bedroom. I remember crying so hard, and later that night, my mom called. I didn’t even have to say anything. I couldn’t say anything. She must have known from my sobs that something horrific had happened. That was the one and only time she ever gave me relationship advice, and it changed my life. She said, ‘Get out.’”

  Thank goodness. “So you left?”

  She swiped at her tears, but they continued to fall. “I did. I packed my car and drove all the way to Colorado and I never looked back. But, honestly, I think I still hold a grudge against him for the fear and insecurities he sparked in me.”

  “That’s understandable,” he reassured her. “He should be punished for what he did. Did you report him to the police?”

  “No, and, Treat, please don’t. I didn’t tell you so you could take vengeance for me. I told you because I want to try to move past this with you. I can’t do that if you get tied up in some sort of vengeful mission.”

  His entire body pulsed with rage, but more important than the urge to hammer the life out of the guy was the desire—the visceral need—to help Max heal. He pulled her close again, speaking through gritted teeth, and said, “I won’t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to with every fiber of my being.”

  He held her while she cried, remembering the way Max had reached for him the first night they were together. He now understood how much courage it must have taken for her to even try to open up to him in such an intimate way. It was easy to see how the look he’d given her in Nassau would translate in her mind as a precursor to hidden aggression, and that clarity nearly shattered him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  ON THE DRIVE back to her apartment, Max gazed out the window into the darkness, clutching Treat’s hand and feeling like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She wasn’t rid of her ghosts, because she had no doubt that she still harbored a grudge, but at least now Treat knew the truth. Even though it was late and they were both tired, they’d gotten so close she didn’t want their night to end. She wanted to be in his safe, loving arms.

  When they arrived at her apartment she could see by the set of his jaw and the fierceness of his eyes that he was still stewing over her confession.

  As he unlocked her apartment door, she grasped for something to break the tension and said, “Thank you for sharing Hope with me.” He nodded absently, and she knew he was still mired in darkness. “I shouldn’t have told you what happened. I’m sorry.”

  He pulled her into his arms, embracing her so tightly it was hard to breathe. “That’s not it, baby. I just want to be with you. I don’t want to leave you tonight.”

  “Then don’t.”

  Hope and worry brimmed in his eyes just like the nervousness whipping around inside her, but she had to follow her heart.

  She took his hand and led him inside, walking toward the bedroom. “Stay with me.”

  He drew her into his arms again. His lips were warm and loving on hers, and she drank in the sweetness of his kiss.

  “I didn’t say that so we could fool around,” he said tenderly. “I just want to be with you, to hold you and know that you’re okay after reliving those memories. I can wait as long as you need to before doing anything more than kissing you.”

  “I know, but maybe I can’t,” she said honestly. “I trust you, Treat. That’s why I felt safe telling you my secret.”

  “You can always trust me, baby.”

  He cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his palm, reveling in his touch. She knew he could feel her trembling, but she didn’t want him to hold back.

  “I’m nervous,” she admitted. “But please don’t back off. Just be patient with me. I’ve only been with two other men. The man I just told you about and one other during my senior year of high school. I thought I loved him and that we’d be together forever, but you know how that goes. What do you know at eighteen?
We went to separate colleges, he cheated on me, which broke my heart, and I got the inevitable Dear Jane letter a month later.”

  “I wish I’d known you then. I’d have stayed with you forever.”

  The honesty in his eyes made her heart beat even faster. “No, you wouldn’t have. As I told you, I was weak. Not the strong, self-sufficient person I am now.”

  “You weren’t weak, baby. You were inexperienced and thrust into a situation you didn’t expect. But you got out of it and made an incredible life for yourself. You took care of you, Max, and that makes you supremely strong. But no matter what you might have been like back then, I know I would have been attracted to you. It’s your very essence that draws me in, your strength and your softness. If we were together back then, I would have wanted to hear your thoughts and dreams, your insights and inspirations, and of course your fears and worries, so I could help alleviate them. I would have listened to your criticisms of me and tried to better myself to become the man you needed me to be. That’s how we grow as people and in relationships. We would have helped each other become the best we could be, and now we’ve got a chance to do just that.”

  “Oh, Treat.” Max tried to speak past the emotions clogging her throat. “Now I wish we would have known each other back then.”

  He brushed his lips over hers and said, “I didn’t think I’d ever feel as strongly about anyone as I do about my own family, but the magnitude of what I feel for you puts those feelings to shame. Can you feel it, the energy between us?”

  “Yes. I knew it in Nassau. All the defenses I’d worked so hard to erect came crumbling down, and I felt that softer side of me that I had hidden away reemerging. I wanted you to take care of me—and that, more than anything, scared me.” She’d never met anyone so loving and patient or so strong and sure of himself. “It was overwhelming, which was why I didn’t spend that first night with you when you invited me back to your room. I mean, how could I feel so much after a few romantic hours?”

  “I don’t have the answers, but I felt the exact same way. I wanted to be with you, to take care of you, yes, but also to experience you. To talk and spend time together, get to know you, and learn about what makes you tick. That’s why I was such a jerk when I saw you with Justin. I thought after our night together that connection was mutual. I made a stupid assumption about the two of you, and it threw me right back to the situation with Mary Jane and my brother Dane.”