Crashing Into Love Read online

  Max nodded toward Jade, who had the baby bundled in her arms, a loving look in her eyes. Rex was gazing over her shoulder, his dark eyes soft.

  “She wants one,” Max said. “Can you tell?”

  “Oh, yeah. Looks like Rex is on board with that.” He placed his hands on Max’s lower back, and they fell into an easy, slow dance.

  “I know it’s kind of taboo to talk about this, or at least it seems that way, but what about you, Jake? Do you ever think about settling down?”

  Something about Max’s sincere gaze brought out a side of Jake he didn’t often allow himself to acknowledge. Thinking of Fiona, he said, “There was a time when I was sure I would.” He shrugged, as if to say ’nuf said.

  Max didn’t take the hint.

  “But not anymore?” He could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew she was pushing his buttons.

  “Let’s just say that I’m not the settling-down type anymore.”

  “Why?”

  He gave her a deadpan stare.

  “Oh, come on, Jake. I know your rep, but look at Hugh.” His cousin Hugh was a race-car driver who used to live as fast of a lifestyle as Jake, until he fell in love with Brianna Heart and her daughter, Layla. They were married weeks after they met. Tonight the newest addition to their family, ten-month old Christian, was bundled in a stroller. Hugh had one arm around Layla and the other around Brianna, who had a hand on the stroller. They took up a good amount of space on the dance floor. One big, happy family. Even Jake couldn’t deny the tweaking he felt in his heart.

  If he can do it…He didn’t allow himself to finish the thought.

  “He does look happy.” He cleared his throat and turned away.

  “People change, Jake.”

  He looked down at Max and shook his head. “Okay, Max. Who put you up to this?” He narrowed his eyes and looked at each of his brothers, though none of them were looking in his direction.

  “Nobody.” She fidgeted with the ends of her hair and shifted her eyes away.

  “Mm-hm.” He wasn’t buying it. A tap on his shoulder pulled his attention.

  “It was me, but Max would never tell you that.” His mother came up from behind him and smiled at Max. “Thanks, Maxy. Would you mind if I cut in?”

  “Of course not. Thanks for the dances, Jake, and if my opinion means anything, I think you’re too great of a guy not to let yourself fall in love.”

  Jake rolled his eyes and settled into his mother’s arms.

  “You shouldn’t use Max like that.”

  “I didn’t use her.” Catherine looked pretty. She usually wore her dark hair long with a side part, and tonight she had it pinned away from her face with a barrette, accentuating her high cheekbones.

  “What would you call it?” He scanned the dance floor and wasn’t quite as relieved as he thought he’d be that Fiona was still nowhere in sight. Maybe she wouldn’t show up after all. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, either.

  “Oh, Jake. I call it a mother’s job. Isn’t it hard to always be wound so tight? Isn’t it exhausting?”

  “Mom, I don’t really want to have this conversation.” He clenched his jaw, and she reached up and stroked it.

  “I can see that.”

  He shifted his eyes away.

  “I only want you to be happy,” she said.

  “Thanks, Mom. That’s a nice thing to say.” Despite the fact that she was pressuring him, he enjoyed this time with his mother when he wasn’t otherwise occupied with harassing his brothers. “How are you doing, Ma?”

  “Me? Good. You know me. Not much gets my goat.”

  “Dating?” He’d never actually seen his mother with a man, but he would like for her to be happy, and he assumed that she was reflecting her own desires on him.

  She laughed. “Been there, done that.”

  He furrowed his brow. “I guess so. Then why are you pushing for me to go down that road?”

  “Oh, honey. Parents want their children to be happy, and just because my love life turned out not quite as I’d hoped doesn’t mean I don’t believe in love.” She looked over her shoulder at Wes and Callie, dancing cheek to cheek, and beyond them, Pierce and Rebecca, gazing into each other’s eyes.

  “Love is wonderful, Jake.” She met his gaze. “Of course, you’ve been there, so you know that.”

  “I seem to remember love kicking the crap out of me.”

  His mother glanced over his shoulder. “It does that. Kicks your ass, then sucks you right back in and washes all that hurt so far away you barely remember it. But you have to let it in, Jake. You have to be open to it.”

  “I think I’ve had enough pushing for one night.” Jake took a step back. “I love you, Ma, but there are some things I have no desire to relive.”

  “Jake.” She put one hand on her hip and raised the other palm toward the sky like she was waiting for an explanation.

  He waved her off and stalked off.

  “Hey, Jake.” Emily grabbed his arm as he passed. One look at his angry face and she let go like he’d burned her. “You okay?”

  “Fine. Thanks, Em. I’ll be back.” Maybe.

  He kept his eyes trained on the trampled grass as he headed as far away from the people he loved as he could. The farther from the band he walked, the softer the music became. After talking with his mother and Max, he felt raw, exposed, like a wound with the bandage ripped off. He slipped around to the back of the snack building and leaned against the concrete wall. His head relaxed back, connecting with the cool concrete blocks with a low thunk. He scrubbed his hand down his face and placed one booted foot flat against the wall. His eyes drifted closed, and he breathed deeply. What the hell was going on with him? He’d lived in an iron box since he was a young man. Survival of the strongest. Survival of the fittest.

  Survival of those who could hide the best.

  “Jake?”

  Hell. Jake opened his eyes and leveled them at Fiona, who was looking too damn hot for his current frame of mind in her sweet-ass cutoffs with a silky top that outlined her luscious breasts.

  Screwed. That’s exactly what he was.

  He sank his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey, Fiona.”

  He didn’t even have the energy to be angry. His mother was right; being angry was exhausting. Although, with Fiona closing the distance between them, rocking her cowgirl boots in a way that had always turned him on, he could sure use a second wind.

  She smiled, the kind of smile that used to melt his moods like butter—and seemed to have a similar effect today.

  “You’re actually talking to me today?” She leaned against the wall beside him.

  Every nerve came to life from her close proximity. He nailed his eyes to the grass and shrugged. “Guess so.”

  “Good.” She sighed. “I was beginning to think you hated me.”

  He closed his eyes for a beat. He wanted to believe he hated her, but hearing it from her lips made him realize how far from hating her he really was.

  “Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I was a bit of a prick.”

  “Shea says I shouldn’t blame you.”

  “I always liked Shea.” He felt himself smile and stole a glance at Fiona. Aw, hell. Bad move. Her easy smile and mischievous gaze drew him in, and it took all of his focus to tear his eyes away again.

  Silence filled the space between them. Not that there was much space. Jake could practically feel her breaths as if they were his own.

  “I’m sorry I bombarded you at the bar and on your run. I would say I didn’t mean to, but it was pretty deliberate.”

  He heard the smile in her voice and couldn’t stop himself from looking. Her smile used to set his world aflame.

  Well, damn.

  Apparently, it still made his stomach go funky.

  He pushed from the wall, hands still in his pockets, and kicked at the grass. He had to do something with all the nervous energy that was coiling tight low in his gut and turning to something else altogether.


  “Well, congrats. You’ve knocked me off-balance. Not many women can say that. In fact, I can’t think of another who could.” He met her gaze and paused. Had to, for the surge of heat that he’d been pretending never existed was burning a path between them.

  “What do you want, Fi?” Fi. Where the hell did that endearment come from? He hadn’t said it or allowed himself to think it in years.

  She shrugged one shoulder and nibbled on her lower lip. “I’m not sure. I just…”

  Just what? Wanted to fuck me up a little more?

  He clenched his jaw to keep from allowing his mouth to get him in trouble.

  She pushed from the wall and stepped right past his comfort zone, made his body cord tighter. And hotter. She pinched his T-shirt at his abs, the way she used to. By the look on her face, the old habit took her as much by surprise as it had taken him, but she didn’t let go.

  “Jake…” His name hung in the air between them, filled with unspoken wonder and pillowed by desire that was becoming thicker by the second. “I…What would you say if your ex realized she’d made a mistake? A big mistake. And wanted to try to get back together?”

  He gripped her slim, feminine wrist. She held tightly to his shirt. She had a strong grip. Fiona was strong in so many ways, but he remembered her weaknesses. He stepped forward, and she stepped back. Her back met the concrete. Jake set his free hand against the wall, beside her head, and leaned in close. She smelled like sweet apples and warm cinnamon. Jake had the urge to touch her hair, the way he used to love to run his fingers through it. He pressed his palm flat against the wall to keep from doing just that. With his other hand, he removed her hand from his shirt and pressed her wrist against the wall. His body ached to press forward, to feel her hips against his again in a way it had never ached for any other woman. Because with Fiona, he knew the depths of pleasure making love to her would bring and the power she had to pull him under her spell. The noise of the fair fell away. There was only the two of them and the heat sizzling between them.

  “It’s too late, Fi. I’m not the same guy I was.” His chest burned, like it did the day she’d broken up with him all those years ago. He couldn’t fall back down into that dark abyss. He gritted his teeth against the want that was driving through him with the power of dynamite.

  She blinked up at him through thick lashes and dragged her tongue over her teeth, sending lust straight to his groin. Her free hand touched his chest, and he lowered his eyes to it, wondering if she could feel the way his heart was thundering—and if hers was doing the same. By her heaving breasts and the darkening of her baby blues, he imagined it was.

  “But maybe somewhere inside you still are,” she said just above a whisper.

  He closed his eyes again. This was dangerous territory. They were too damn close, and it felt too damn good. He dropped his hands, freeing her. Her hand fisted in his shirt, keeping him close.

  “Fiona.” He breathed her name and wanted to breathe it again and again and again. She was deliciously familiar—the closeness, the challenge of what he should do and what she knew he wanted to do, the revving of his fucking engine that had him hard as a rock. Damn his body. Damn him. Damn her. He didn’t need to get tangled up with her again. He’d barely survived her the first time.

  “I’m not that same guy.” He gripped her wrist, tore her hand from his shirt, and forced himself to step back. “You don’t know me anymore, and trust me, Fi. You wouldn’t like me if you did.” I’m not sure I like me. He scrubbed his hand down his face and turned away.

  “I don’t care that you were with Sarah Chelsum.” Her words fell fast and desperate.

  Jake turned to face her, softening when he saw her eyes had gone damp.

  “Fiona…” Why do I care what she thinks?

  In three steps she was upon him again, hands clutching his shirt, thighs pressing against his. Tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “I don’t care, Jake. It doesn’t matter.”

  He forced himself to twist from her grip again. “You don’t get it, Fiona.”

  “I do, Jake. That’s just it. I get it. You use women as an escape. You could sleep with half the girls in town and that wouldn’t matter, because I know that when you come back to me, you’ll never stray.”

  Come back to you? He moved in close again. “I would never sleep with another woman from Trusty. You don’t know me, Fiona. Don’t try to act as though you do.” She was the first and only woman he’d ever slept with from their hometown, and as much as he played it off like he regretted it, he never had.

  “You took her home, Jake. Everyone’s talking about how they saw you leave with her. Someone saw you walk her up to the door. People know, so you don’t have to bullshit me.”

  “People around here don’t know squat. I drove her home. No kiss good night. No quickie in the backseat. Nothing. Not that I care what anyone around here thinks.”

  “Maybe not.” She lowered her voice again. “But you obviously still care what I think, or you wouldn’t have corrected me.”

  Hell. He ran his hand through his hair and blew out a frustrated breath.

  “Look, I don’t know what you’re thinking will happen between us, but in two days, I’m out of here. Back to LA. Back to my life.”

  She nodded.

  “There’s nothing there, Fi. It’s done. Whatever we had…” He shrugged.

  The sounds of the fair began filtering back into his ears. Jesus, how long had they been standing there? He’d completely fallen into her, oblivious to everything around him. When had he begun breathing hard? He was still hard. He forced his legs to carry him away from Fiona. He had no idea where he was going, didn’t care, only knew he had to walk away before he gave in to the intense desires warring within him.

  “Jake.”

  He heard desperation in her voice. His emotions warred within him.

  Go back.

  See where it goes.

  Walk, you fool.

  Walk away, fast and furious before what’s left of your heart gets ripped to shreds.

  Jake shoved his hands in his pockets before walking around the corner of the building, leaving Fiona, and his past, behind.

  Chapter Five

  THE NEXT MORNING Jake pushed his body hard, sprinting up a hill and around the bend toward Old Hill Road just as the sun peeked over the crest of the mountains. He loved this time of the morning, when the town had yet to rise and the shadow of night still lingered in the coolness of the air and the dewy grass. There was a peacefulness in those early hours that had always appealed to Jake. Before checking email or stressing over what he had to get done, he’d pound out a few miles and clear his mind. Only today, as he veered onto Old Hill, his mind was anything but clear. It was reeling with the anticipation of seeing Fiona again. He debated turning around and running another route, but he didn’t know what the hell he wanted anymore. He had no clue if he wanted to avoid Fiona or sweep her into his arms, and he wasn’t about to dissect it as he pushed his muscles hard and picked up his pace.

  Seeing her at the fair had totally knocked him off-kilter. And when she’d touched him—Lord, when she’d touched him—he’d gotten sucked right back into her again. For a few minutes, there had been only him and her and that crazy, magnificent electricity that had always been there connecting them. Never in a million years would he have thought he’d feel a damn thing when he was near her again.

  And what was all that stuff about when he came back to her? You could sleep with half the girls in town and that wouldn’t matter, because I know that when you come back to me, you’ll never stray. Was she living in a fantasy world? I would say I didn’t mean to, but it was pretty deliberate. He lifted his gaze and scanned the empty road. His stomach tanked. What the hell was up with that? Shouldn’t he be happy that she wasn’t there waiting for him? Wasn’t that what he wanted? To be Fiona-free forever?

  It sure as hell was, but last night…

  The air cooled as he reached the overlook where Fiona ha
d been standing yesterday morning. Waiting for me. He jogged to the edge of the road and looked out over the town, hands on hips, breathing hard. In less than forty-eight hours he’d be back in Los Angeles, back at his estate, back to his life. Fiona would be a lifetime away again. Out of sight, out of mind.

  He rubbed an unfamiliar ache at the back of his neck.

  A noise caught his attention, and he turned, hope swelling in his chest as he gazed down the road. He was earlier than yesterday; maybe she was just running late today. A deer burst through the trees, ran into the middle of the road and stopped, enormous black eyes meeting his. It turned and leaped back into the woods. He stared at the empty road, longing to see Fiona and wondering what in the hell he was thinking. Fiona was a bad idea, and if anyone knew bad ideas, it was Jake. He was the king of them. His entire social life was a bad idea. There was only one thing that could keep him from getting into trouble with Fiona, and that was a big metal bird that would carry him far, far away.

  Chapter Six

  MONDAY EVENING FIONA and Shea met Trish for dinner at a restaurant that was near the set where they were going to film Raiders of the Past. Fiona had lived in Fresno, California, for several years, but she’d never had the guts to visit Los Angeles. It might be a big city, but she hadn’t wanted to take any chance of running into Jake, no matter how many times she’d sat in her car and debated it. She hadn’t even been sure she could handle seeing him in Trusty. She’d known she was still in love with Jake for what seemed like forever, but she also knew how he’d gone to great lengths to avoid her, and she wasn’t sure she could handle his rejection. She wasn’t sure she could handle any of it, really—her desire for him or the risk of reaching out to him…until her boss had offered her a promotion that would mean heavy travel and no chance for settling down. Running two geological teams would become her life. It was a dream job, something she’d been working toward for years, and if the paper she’d recently submitted was published, it would give her even more credibility in the position.

  She was at the peak of her career, but taking that dream job would mean letting go of an even more important dream. When Trish had offered her the chance to come to LA, no strings attached, to try to reconnect with Jake, the timing couldn’t have been better. This was her chance to follow her heart, so she would finally know if she should let go of the man she loved once and for all.