Taming My Whiskey Page 22

  She admired many things about him, but his honesty was definitely at the top of that list, even though it was also the cause of her pain. She gripped the steering wheel tighter, willing the hurt not to dig its claws in any deeper. She had only herself to blame, and that made it even harder to accept.

  She made her way to Bones and Sarah’s house on a bluff overlooking the harbor.

  A cool breeze swept over Dixie’s skin as she stepped from the car and grabbed the gifts from the passenger seat. She gazed out at the water as she walked up to the front door, promising herself she would not think of Jace tonight. She wouldn’t hope to hear from him or pick apart his message from last night. Tonight she was Auntie Dixie, and Auntie Dixie would never slight her babies for a man.

  With her rules firmly in place, she knocked on the door.

  “Come in!”

  She heard little feet running by the door. Picturing Bradley racing by in his bare feet brought a smile to her face as she pushed the door open.

  “Surprise!” rang out from the living room.

  Startled, she jumped as her parents, siblings, and their significant others came at her with open arms. But her favorite sandy-haired four-year-old, Bradley, beat them to it, throwing his arms around her legs, beaming up at her.

  “Happy calendar!” Bradley jumped up and down and said, “Are those presents for me?”

  “Manners, kiddo.” Bones swept Bradley off his feet, holding him under his arm like a football as he leaned in and kissed Dixie’s cheek. “Congratulations, Dix.” He set Bradley on his feet.

  “What is all this?” she asked.

  Bradley grabbed her hand, pulling her into the living room, which was decorated with streamers and balloons. “Look at the sign we made!” He pointed above the mantel, to a sign that read CONGRATULATIONS, DIXIE! It was decorated with adorable stick figures and scribbles.

  “We’re celebrating you,” Crystal said as she took the gifts from Dixie and set them on the coffee table.

  Bradley tugged on Dixie’s hand and said, “Lila scribbled. I drew our family and Tinkerbell. Do you see Tink? Do you?” Tinkerbell was Bullet’s Rottweiler. Bradley had drawn the dog with four uneven legs and an enormous head with pointy ears.

  “Yes!” Dixie said. “Everything you drew looks amazing.”

  “It’s amazing!” Bradley hollered, running to Sarah’s side.

  Sarah was holding Maggie Rose. “So is your auntie,” she said, touching Bradley’s head and smiling at Dixie.

  Lila was perched in one of Bullet’s arms, looking adorable in a pink dress with white polka dots, tugging at his beard as he hauled Dixie against him with his free hand, hugging her so hard she couldn’t breathe. “We’re all proud of you, Dix.”

  “Dissie! Dissie!” Lila chanted, her grabby hands catching Dixie’s hair.

  Emotions clogged Dixie’s throat as Bullet handed Lila to her. Lila wrapped her arms around Dixie’s neck.

  “Finlay and Sarah cooked,” Crystal said. The table was set with platters overflowing with food and a vase of fresh flowers.

  “We made all your favorites,” Finlay said.

  “Everything looks incredible. I can’t believe you did all this for me. It’s just a calendar,” Dixie said, although she knew how big a deal it was that Jace had chosen her to be the face of Silver-Stone. But she still had a hard time grasping that part.

  “Believe it, baby girl,” her mother said, her gaze warmer than the summer sun.

  Her father limped to her side, his beard twitching with his smile. “It’s not really about the calendar. You have given so much of your life to our family. We’re celebrating you, sweetheart. It’s as simple as that.”

  As he embraced her, Dixie’s eyes filled with tears. This doesn’t feel simple at all.

  THE EVENING WAS full of love, laughter, and plenty of eye rolls. Lila hadn’t let go of her giraffe since she’d unwrapped it. They were sitting around the dinner table enjoying the feast the girls had prepared, the giraffe perched beside Lila in the high chair, covered with food. Maggie Rose was asleep in Bones’s arms, and Bradley was having a blast pushing his new truck along the edge of the table to Bear, who would then push it back. Dixie had just finished telling them all about the photo shoot, and she was fielding their questions.

  “A clothing stylist and a hair and makeup person? It sounds glamorous,” Sarah said.

  “Our sister the model,” Bear chimed in.

  “Hardly,” Dixie said. “It was nerve-racking, at least at first. But then I remembered some advice Jace’s sister had given me when we had dinner with them, and that made it easier.”

  Finlay, Crystal, and Sarah exchanged excited glances.

  “You had dinner with Jace’s family?” Finlay asked.

  “You guys must have had a really special date,” Sarah added.

  “Sounds like he won more than a date in that auction,” Crystal said snarkily.

  All three of Dixie’s brothers glowered at Crystal.

  Good thing Dixie wasn’t spilling her guts to anyone in the room. “Would you all stop. His sisters live in the city. We had dinner with them. It was no big deal. He has an adorable nephew, by the way. Thane is four months old, and oh my gosh, he is a cutie.”

  Her mother looked at her with a curious expression. “That must have been a nice visit.”

  “It was. His sisters and brother-in-law are really nice.” She wondered if Jayla had said anything more to Jace about her, and if so, how Jace had responded. She didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole, so she said, “Anyway, Rush, Jace’s brother-in-law, suggested I mentally go back to being a teenager while they did the photo shoot, because teenagers feel so invincible.”

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m still invincible,” Bullet said.

  Bear chuckled. “You and me both.”

  Bones shook his head and said, “And it worked?”

  “Like a charm.” As she said it, she remembered how it had worked so well to take away her nervousness, but she’d ended up too hot and bothered to think straight.

  And then she remembered what happened next.

  Her cheeks burned, and she downed her glass of water in three big gulps. But the image of Jace’s eyes locked on her as she loved him with her hands and mouth didn’t abate, and her pulse quickened.

  “You okay, sweetheart?” her mother asked.

  “Yeah. Just thirsty.” She refilled her glass from the pitcher and drank more water, scrambling for another subject. “I got to keep all the clothes from the shoot. Wait until you see them. They’re gorgeous.” She hoped they wouldn’t ask to see them. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to unpack them yet. She was afraid the sight of them would only bring more heartache.

  “When do we get to see the calendar?” her mother asked.

  “I’m not sure. Jace said they’re meeting next week to decide which pictures to use.”

  The conversation moved from the shoot to her thoughts on the city, which led to Bones and Sarah talking about where they wanted to go on their honeymoon.

  “Maybe you should pick a wedding date first,” Finlay suggested. “That usually comes before the honeymoon.”

  Bullet put his arm around Finlay and pulled her closer. “Our honeymoon started the day you accepted my proposal, and it’s never going to end.”

  Bear made kissing sounds as Bullet kissed Finlay. Bradley mimicked Bear, and Lila got in on the game, giggling as she smacked her lips together, spraying food all over her tray.

  “Just wait until your baby is born,” Bones said to Bear as he wiped Lila’s cheeks.

  Bear rubbed Crystal’s belly and said, “I welcome it. I want our baby to be just as fun as I am, and as well endowed.”

  “Bear,” their mother scolded him with a smile tugging at her lips.

  “Someone’s got to take over the title for the next generation,” Bear said, sparking a round of hilarious comments from the adults. Their laughter brought more giggles from the kids.

  Finlay laug
hed so hard, when she finally caught her breath, she said, “I love this family so much.”

  “’Course you do, Lollipop.” Bullet kissed her temple.

  Dixie sat back, taking it all in. Sarah was cutting up food for Bradley, who shoveled it into his mouth as quickly as she could cut. Bones cuddled Maggie Rose against his chest as he put more pasta on Lila’s plate.

  “How about Giraffe? Does he need some, too?” Bones asked, earning a giggle from Lila, who immediately tried to shove pasta into the stuffed animal’s mouth.

  Crystal and Bear were holding hands, volleying parenting comments with Bullet, who was still holding on to Finlay like he’d never let her go. Red and Biggs talked in hushed voices, their foreheads close. The image of everything Dixie wanted was right before her eyes. She’d been on the same page with Jace when she was with him, and she didn’t regret a second of what they’d done. But as she looked around the table, she decided she was done selling herself short. She wanted to be with a man who wanted to be on this page with her. Someone who wanted to be there for all the crazy, unexpected things that happened in families and in life, a partner she could rely on, who thought about her the way her brothers thought about their wives: constantly and lovingly. She didn’t even care that Jace had to travel often and couldn’t commit to being physically present on a daily basis if he loved her the way she loved him.

  But he didn’t.

  A dull ache sprouted deep in her chest, spreading like a thorny bush. She grabbed the edges of her chair to keep from crumbling into herself as she tried to accept reality. Jace Stone wasn’t ever going to be the man she needed, no matter how much she wanted him to be.

  Chapter Fifteen

  THE SUN HUNG low over the horizon as Jace pulled into the parking lot of Whiskey Automotive Saturday evening, remembering the last time he’d been there. He hadn’t expected that night to lead to something more, and he sure as hell hadn’t expected something more to lead to sleepless nights and Dixie Whiskey burning through his veins. But she was everywhere. When he closed his eyes, he saw her beautiful face gazing up at him as they made love. When he was working, he felt her hands on his body, heard her voice challenging and seducing him. And every damn time he’d walked into his loft, he’d felt her presence. He missed her so much his chest hurt day and night, and there was no turning it off. He’d tried to drink her away the first night she’d left, but it had only reminded him of their evening at NightCaps. He’d never experienced anything like this before, and he didn’t understand why it was happening or how to handle it. He’d finally given up trying, and like an addict seeking his next hit, he’d come to Peaceful Harbor.

  He climbed off his bike, grabbed the gift he’d brought her from the saddlebag, and headed inside. The bell above the door chimed. Dixie was sitting behind the front desk, her gorgeous hair curtaining her face, her bare shoulders begging to be kissed. Just the sight of her sent heat and relief flooding through him, easing his misery.

  “We’re clos—” She looked up and dropped her pen. “Jace.”

  “Hi, Dix. I came back to take care of a few things and make arrangements for my bike. Thought I’d stop by.”

  She rose to her feet, gorgeous in a pair of cutoffs and a tight tank top. “Oh,” she said a little shakily. As if she caught that small vulnerability, she cleared her throat and said, “Payment for the shoot just hit my account. You said it would be five times what I earn here, and it’s way more than that.”

  “You’re worth every penny.”

  She shifted her eyes to the box in his hand as she came around the desk.

  His heart thundered as she met his gaze. He’d thought he’d imagined the way her green eyes drew him in like an unstoppable force, but he found himself stepping closer. He handed her the box and said, “This is for you. What do you say we grab some dinner, get a drink?”

  She looked at the box, her brows knitting. “Thank you.” She set the box on the desk and said, “I can’t see you tonight. I’m working at the bar.”

  Damn. “I can swing by your place after you’re off.”

  She shook her head, averting her eyes again. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  Ice cut through his chest. He really was alone in his anguish. He’d known she’d handled her leaving better than he had, but he’d thought she’d at least missed him. “Why not?”

  She pressed her lips together, and he reached for her hand. She didn’t pull it away, but he could see her struggling with something.

  “Dix, talk to me. I have to be in LA tomorrow. I don’t have time to try to guess what’s going on.”

  “It’s too hard, Jace. I can’t do it. We had New York, and we agreed that was all we’d have.”

  She was done? He didn’t believe it. He stepped closer, the familiar thrum of desire coursing through him, and he saw it mirrored in her eyes as he said, “It doesn’t have to be all we had. We’ve got tonight.” He ran his hands up her arms and said, “Be with me after work.”

  He gathered her in his arms and brushed his lips over hers. Her breathing hitched, and she grabbed his sides, pressing her fingers into him. “I can’t get you out of my head, Dix. That damn Whiskey fever’s got me all worked up.”

  The longing in her eyes brought his mouth to hers. She pressed her whole body into his, and in the next breath both of them were pawing and groping as they feasted on each other’s mouths. All of the anguish and confusion fell away. This was what he needed, and it wasn’t nearly enough.

  Dixie moaned, and he tightened his grip on her hair, but she tore her mouth away, panting as she pushed out of his arms.

  “No.” She shook her head, walking backward until she bumped into the desk. “I can’t do this, Jace. I can’t be your booty call.”

  Now he was shaking his head, trying to still his whirling thoughts. “Booty call? I thought we were on the same page.”

  “We were,” she said, touching her lips, as if they were still tingling. She folded her arms, then unfolded them, only to fold them again.

  “You said you didn’t need promises of more,” he said a little too sharply, but he didn’t fucking get it. They were good together. She sure as hell wouldn’t kiss him like that if they weren’t.

  “I didn’t,” she snapped, her eyes pleading with him, but not for what he wanted. “I never thought I was the type of girl who would pine over a man, checking my phone and wondering where we stand. But it turns out I am that girl, and I hate it. It’s too hard. I didn’t expect to care about you or think about you so much afterward. I can’t …”

  “What are you saying?” He already knew the answer, but he didn’t want to believe it.

  She held his gaze, as still as steel, hurt simmering just below the surface. “I’m saying things changed. It turns out I do want promises. I want the frigging fantasy. I want a man who wants forever with me—kids and family dinners, the whole shebang. I’m on day three.” Her voice escalated. “Do you know what that means? It means I’m over the worst of it. I need to move on and protect my heart, and I can’t do that if I fall into your arms tonight.”

  The truth hit him like a punch to his gut.

  He’d known she was fooling herself in New York, but she’d done such a good job of it, he’d taken a page from her playbook and fooled himself, too. But that note…Fuck. That note had been just another attempt to fool herself. He wasn’t alone in his misery after all, but knowing he’d hurt her only drove his torment deeper.

  “We’re good together, Dix. Hell, we’re phenomenal together, but you’re asking for promises I can’t give.”

  “I’m not asking you for anything.” She lifted her chin defiantly. “I’m just explaining, and if you care about me at all, you’ll let it go at this.”

  “Dix…” He stepped closer.

  She put her hands up and shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “Please don’t. I’ll still live up to my commitments for Silver-Stone, but we can’t happen.”

  Right that second, he didn’t give a dam
n about the company. “You’re fucking killing me,” he said angrily. Her eyes implored him to hear her, and damn it, he did, loud and clear. He’d never wanted to hurt her, and he’d fucked that up.

  Battling the crushing feeling in his chest and his own self-loathing, he reluctantly headed for the door. But he stopped short, needing one last look at her, and drove the dagger deeper into his heart as he said, “You’re a hell of a woman, Dixie Whiskey, and you deserve everything you’re hoping for and more.”

  DIXIE HELD HER breath as Jace stormed out the door. She heard his bike roar to life and speed out of the parking lot. The air rushed from her lungs, tears sprang from her eyes, and her legs gave out. She grabbed the edge of the desk as sobs burst free. She’d thought Wednesday had been the worst of it, but as the pain drove her to her knees, the sound of Jace’s engine faded in the distance, and this time she knew she’d never be the same again.

  Chapter Sixteen

  SUNDAY MORNING THE numbers in the ledger blurred together. Dixie closed her eyes, refusing to give in to the heartache she’d suffered all night. It was a futile effort, and she wiped the frigging tears from her cheeks. God, she hated this! When she’d finally made it to the bar last night, she was almost an hour late, her eyes red and puffy, and she’d moved through her shift like an automaton. Izzy, Tracey, and Diesel wouldn’t stop asking what was wrong, and she’d lost it, hollering at them right there in front of all the customers. I’m having a shit day, okay? Leave it alone or I swear you’ll regret it. She’d cried herself to sleep like a pathetic child. She’d thought coming into the bar to do the books would snap her out of it. But here she sat, stuck on replay. At least the bar was closed and she could wallow in her misery alone.

  She knew she’d done the right thing by sending Jace away, but why did it feel like the worst decision of her life? She pushed away from the table where she was working and went around the bar to pour herself a drink. She hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, hoping to hide from herself, but as she grabbed a bottle of tequila, she accidentally caught sight of herself in the mirror behind the bar. Her hair was piled on top of her head like a rat’s nest, her bloodshot eyes looked like she was already drunk, and her nose looked like she’d stolen it from Rudolph.