Truly, Madly, Whiskey Page 20

  “You should take orders for the ones you haven’t made yet, too. Just put together sketches,” Dixie suggested. “People want what’s in limited supply.”

  “She’s got a point,” Crystal said.

  Dixie tapped the glass with her fingernail. “Which of these is the best substitute for sex?”

  Thinking about her night on the porch with Bear, she said, “Anything cream filled.”

  “She has a point,” Gemma said. “It’s all about the cream.”

  Cassie flashed a smile and planted her hands on her hips. Her light brown hair was piled on the top of her head in a messy bun, and she had streaks of white powder on her shorts. “Are we ready for the tasting this weekend?”

  “Absolutely!” Gemma said. “I’m so excited to see what you’ve come up with.”

  “It’ll be delish.” Cassie crooked her finger. “Come with me. I made something for a bachelorette party, and I know you’ll love them. I have extras.”

  “Sounds enticing,” Crystal said as they followed her to the kitchen.

  Cassie grabbed a tray from a counter and carried it over. “Penis pops!”

  “Ohmygosh,” Gemma said.

  “That is exactly what I need,” Dixie said.

  “Hard up, huh, Dix?” Cassie frowned.

  “You could say that,” Dixie said. “I think I need to take a ride into another town or something.”

  “That would go over real well,” Gemma said. “Date a biker from another club and you’ll get him killed and end up like Rapunzel locked in a castle.”

  “No bikers,” Dixie said with a determined look in her eyes. “I think I need to expand my horizons.”

  “Can we get back to these please? Is that cake?” Crystal looked over the puffy penis shapes with sticks poking out of the bottom.

  “Of course,” Cassie said proudly. “Watch.” She put on a plastic glove and pushed on the spongy cake, and white cream came out the tip.

  Giggles erupted from the group, and the taste of Bear filled Crystal’s mouth. Butterflies took flight in her stomach, growing stronger with every passing minute as her special night with Bear neared. Three more days seemed like a lifetime and an instant at once.

  Chapter Fifteen

  BEAR CLIMBED THE steps to Crystal’s apartment Friday night, anxious to disappear into her and lock the rest of the world out for a while. He didn’t want to think about his impending meeting with Jace and how he was probably going to have to turn down the opportunity in order to help his family with the expansion of the bar. When he reached Crystal’s floor, he stood outside, rubbing the tension from the back of his neck. He’d need a hell of a lot more than that to get rid of the weight of his family resting there.

  Crystal answered the door wearing a sexy sleeveless black leather shirt that dipped in at the waist and flared over her hips, and a skimpy black skirt. Her feet were bare, and she looked sinful and adorable, making Bear’s heart tug in ten different directions.

  “You’re early,” she said happily, fisting her hands in his shirt and dragging him into the apartment. He fucking loved that show of possession.

  “I couldn’t wait to see you. You look beautiful.”

  He lowered his mouth to hers, and her arms wound around his neck. She made a sweet sound of surrender as they kissed, and his thoughts followed that needy noise all the way down to his greedy cock. He took the kiss deeper, earning another enticing moan. He wanted all of her. There was no stopping their passion. The other night had given him a taste of what their connection would amount to. Thoughts of skipping their plans for dinner and a walk tempted him.

  “I missed you,” she said. “This was the longest week in the history of the world.” She slipped her feet into a pair of black sandals.

  So much for skipping their plans.

  “I missed you, too, babe.” Harley brushed against his leg, and he picked her up. “Missed you, too, little one. Did you keep my girl company at night?”

  “Every night. It was like sleeping with a running motor.” She slipped the key to her apartment into his pocket and tugged him toward the door.

  “In a hurry?”

  Her stomach growled, and they both laughed. “Yes, but not just because I’m starved. Can we grab dinner at Jazzy Joe’s and eat at the beach? I don’t feel like sitting in a restaurant.”

  After picking up sandwiches, they drove to the beach. It was still early enough that there were a handful of couples and families milling around. They left their shoes in the truck and walked down by the water to eat. Crystal filled Bear in about her busy week, speaking so quickly he wondered what she was nervous about.

  “We put the costumes on the website. I’m excited to see if they sell.” She told him about meeting a woman named Tegan and how they’d met with her again last night to see some of her clothing designs. “Gemma’s ready to hire her if the costume idea takes off.” She pushed to her feet. “Can we take a walk?”

  After he threw out their trash, they walked along the water’s edge. It was a balmy evening, and the cool water felt good on his bare feet, but his gut was churning over whatever was going on in Crystal’s head.

  “What’s happening with the expansion of the bar?” she asked.

  He drew her into his arms and gazed into her troubled eyes. “How about you tell me what’s really going on inside that beautiful head of yours?”

  “I suck that badly at hiding it?”

  “The question is, why are you hiding anything from me?”

  She sighed, and a smile lifted her lips. “I lit and blew out candles in my apartment a dozen times before you got there.”

  Reality swamped him. His worries over his career were nothing compared to what must go through Crystal’s mind when they were close.

  “You’re nervous about getting more intimate with me. That’s understandable, and I meant what I said, that you’re in control of how far we go in the bedroom.” He held her tighter. “Just because we exchanged sexy texts all week doesn’t mean we have to do anything. I’ll never pressure you. I promise you that.”

  “It’s not that. I’m more than ready. I wanted to drag you directly into the bedroom, which is why I hurried out of the apartment.” She paused, and softened her tone. “I just need to make sure that you are.”

  He grinned, holding her closer. “Babe, I’ve been riding at half-mast for months. I’m more than ready.”

  Smiling, she said, “I know that, but can you stop looking at guys like you want to kill them and let us live our lives without my past hanging over our heads every time we’re out in public?”

  Well, hell. “It looks like I’m the one who sucks at hiding things.”

  She held up her finger and thumb and mouthed, A little.

  “Sorry, babe. I’m not going to lie. All sorts of crazy shit has gone through my head. I want you to feel safe, and I don’t know how you can knowing that guy is out there. But then I look at you, and you’re living your life without looking over your shoulder, and I know I need to learn from that. I realize it’s not my decision, but that doesn’t make it any easier.”

  “Bear…” Her eyes teared up.

  “Oh shit. I screwed up. I’m sorry. What did I say?”

  “No, you didn’t. You make me wonder if it’s possible to care too much. You try to be everything for everyone, and I love that about you. And I love that you didn’t go behind my back and try to do anything stupid.”

  “I thought about it way too many times, so I’m pretty sure I’m not done wanting to do the stupid part,” he said honestly.

  She wrapped her arms around him and he held her.

  “I only know one way to live my life,” he explained. “When it comes to one of our own, we fight together. I’ve never had to step back or ask for help. Not when my father suffered his stroke and I had to take over the bar, not when I lost my uncle and took over the shop, not when Tru and Quincy needed help. But, sweet girl, I want to do right by you, and to do that I think I need your help. I need you to be
patient with me.”

  She smiled up at him with a relieved look in her eyes. “I think we both need to ask for patience. I’ve kept my secret for so long, there was no one to question my decision other than David, and he only wanted to understand my reasons. He didn’t try to change my mind. I honestly don’t know if it’s too much to expect you to accept my decision without question. Maybe that’s why I never told Gemma or Jed. Maybe I thought they’d push me to go to the police.” She shrugged as if she had no answer. “All I know is that I did what I needed to do in order to move on, and I stand by that decision. But is it the right decision forever? I don’t know.”

  “I’m not asking you to change it,” Bear said. “But you need to know that I’m trying to put away that anger. It’s just not easy to do when I want to slaughter the guy.”

  “You’re offering to change who you are in order to give me what I need.” She swallowed hard and pressed her lips to the center of his chest. She’d done that so often he should be used to it, but it still sent a streak of love through him every time. “You’re offering yourself as an imperfect man, and it makes me fall even harder for you.”

  “I am sorry,” he whispered. “I only know one way to be.”

  “So do I,” she said softly. “It takes a bigger man to step back the way you are instead of trying to seek vengeance. When I lost my father, when my mom started drinking, and when I was attacked, I had no control. I have been fighting every minute of my life for control, and you, Mr. Control, have given it to me. I realize that it’s killing you not being able to do anything, probably as much as it kills me to know that no matter how much I feel like I’ve moved past it all, it still slowed me down enough not to drag you into my bedroom, but to have this conversation instead.”

  “I’m sorry, babe,” was all he could manage. He seemed to be saying it a lot tonight.

  “It’s not a bad thing. The best part of all of this is that I’m not terrified of losing control when I’m with you. I want to. But to be with me, you have to be okay with my choices, even if you don’t like them.”

  Her voice was so serious the sea itself seemed to still.

  “It’s a little like swallowing broken glass,” he admitted. “You know the Whiskey in me wants to give you those rules right back, but I’m not going to. What you want and what you need are what matters most. So instead I’ll ask only one thing of you.”

  She nodded, holding him a little tighter.

  “Let me love you, sweetheart. Let me learn how to love you the way you need. Let us learn what we both need. There is nothing I won’t do for you, but unlearning the visceral make-things-right part of me isn’t easy. I’ll need you to call me on it if it gets too bad, like you have been. Maybe that makes me a lesser man for needing your help, but if it means being with you, I’ll take it.”

  IN ALL OF her years, there were only a handful of times Crystal had been one hundred percent certain that what she was doing was right. She’d known when she’d returned to Peaceful Harbor that the strength of her relationship with her father would help her regain her footing. She’d been sure that seeing a therapist would allow her to eventually live a full life without fear of intimacy, and she’d known the first time she’d met Gemma that it was kismet. As she led Bear into her bedroom, she felt as though the room itself had been waiting for him. Even as he turned her in his arms, her feelings for him were intensifying.

  Slivers of moonlight sliced through the sheers that kept the rest of the world at bay, reflecting in his eyes. She studied his face, seeing as much inherent strength and love as there was in his touch. She knew how hard it was for him to step back when he was used to barreling forward, and she sensed that their discussion had been freeing for both of them, even if it was a work in progress.

  “Still okay, sweetheart?” He brushed his thumb over her jaw, watching her intently.

  “Yes. I want this, Bear. I’m not afraid, not even a little, so please don’t be afraid for me.”

  “All I want is for you to feel safe and loved.” His hands moved down her arms, slow and gentle and somehow strong and reassuring.

  Harley moved around their feet, her soft meow bringing a smile to both their faces. He picked her up and held her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. His eyes moved over the room, drifting to the windowsill where she’d set the orchids between an array of candles, separated into three vases.

  His lips curved up in a soft smile. “Can I light them? I want to see you tonight.”

  “Sure.” She was a little nervous, even though he’d already seen her naked. Seeing her naked while they were making love felt different. Exciting and intimate, but different.

  Using the lighter she’d left on the sill, he brought shimmering light to the dark room. He petted Harley, looking around her room, taking in the shelves filled with books and a few of the dolls her father had made. Scarves and bags hung precariously off the ends. He walked over to the bed, touching the bongo drum she used as a bedside table. A tall brass lamp with a black-fringed shade sat beside her stereo.

  He lifted a finger, as if he were going to turn on the music, and looked at her questioningly. She nodded, and seconds later, slow jazz filled the air.

  “My girl,” he said wistfully, crossing the black shag rug and setting Harley in the center of the dark purple armchair where Crystal liked to read.

  “Stay here, little one,” he said to the kitty, his gaze moving over the bed to the enormous white medallion headboard, which nearly reached the ceiling, and the string of colorful holiday lights draped unevenly over one side. His smile widened as he moved around the bed, finding the switch for the lights and bringing them to life.

  Her pulse quickened with every move he made.

  Watching her intently as he neared, he said, “Do you want me to ask, or do you want me to take?”

  “Take,” she said a little breathlessly. “Carefully.”

  His eyes flamed, pinning her in place as he lowered his mouth to hers, hard and insistent. Claiming her. His hands moved up her back and into her hair, hot and strong as he angled her head so he could take the kiss deeper. Adrenaline pushed through her veins, severing her inhibitions. His tongue teased over her lower lip, delving into her mouth, making her want, and need, and crave. She was lost in his touch, in the beat of the music, in the desire pulsing between them. His mouth left hers, and his finger trailed lightly over her lips. She tried to capture it, but she was too slow and opened her eyes as he stepped behind her.

  His warm breath slithered over her skin as he gathered her hair over one shoulder. “Still with me, sugar?”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “So with you.”

  Her shirt zipped up the back, and she felt the leather loosening as he unzipped it painfully slowly. The first touch of his lips on her back sent rivers of heat to her core. She closed her eyes, reveling in the touch of his lips. She needed more shirts with zippers in the back. Shirts, pants. An entire wardrobe of clothes that you have to help me out of.

  He slid his hands beneath the leather, caressing her shoulders as her shirt fell to the ground, landing heavily at her feet. His fingers moved over the black lace straps of the red satin camisole she’d made.

  “Baby,” he whispered. “You made this?”

  “For you. Do you like it?”

  His arms circled her waist, and as he spoke, his seductive tone slithered inside her. “Almost as much as I like what’s in it.”

  His fingers trailed up her arms, playing over the black lace straps. The brush of his fingers brought goose bumps to her skin. He pressed kisses to her neck as he touched the hem of the camisole.

  “My beautiful girl,” he said as he lifted it off and it sailed to the floor.

  “Kiss me more.”

  She bent her neck to the side, giving him better access to lavish her with the most sensual kisses she’d ever experienced. He sank his teeth into her shoulder just hard enough to cause her to gasp. She reached behind her and grabbed the back of his legs.

>   “Too hard, sweet girl?”

  “No. So good.”

  He slicked his tongue over the tender spot. Then his hands moved down her belly. Anticipation built up inside her, agony and ecstasy at once. She closed her eyes as his mouth touched her neck, kissing and teasing until she was moaning, arching, desperately seeking more of him.

  He pushed his fingers beneath the waist of her skirt. “Give me your mouth.”

  “Yes.”

  Her body electrified as she turned her face, and he captured her mouth, pressing his hard length against her rear. His thick fingers went straight to her sex. Sweet baby Jesus. He held her so tight she felt his thundering heart against her back and reveled in his passionate, urgent kisses. Lust coiled deep inside her, pounding, burning, begging for release as he teased and taunted, gliding along her slick, swollen sex. She rocked, urging his talented fingers inside her, but he wouldn’t obey.

  When his mouth left hers, she couldn’t stop a whimper from escaping.

  “I’ve got you, baby.”

  His promise made her heart race even more. She wanted to turn around and tear off his clothes. To tackle him on the floor, on the bed, wherever she was able, and finally feel him buried deep inside her. But this heavenly foreplay was too good to miss a second of it.

  He didn’t speak as he unzipped her skirt, letting it drop to the floor. Then his mouth was on the back of her neck, her spine, kissing his way south. His hands moved down her torso, clutching her hips as he sank lower, kissing her bottom, the backs of her thighs. Cool air rushed over her skin, and his shirt fell to the floor beside her.

  Heat radiated from his body as he rose to his full height and turned her in his arms. His lips hovered over hers, teasing, whispering, “Even when you try to hide yourself in dark colors, your brightness shines through.”

  She was lost in his voice, his touch, and the way he was worshipping her. When his arms circled her waist, bringing their bare chests together, it was like coming home. Warm, safe. Perfect.