Only for You (Sugar Lake Book 2) Page 16

  Louie nibbled on his lower lip, nodding.

  “This is your decision, little dude. Take a moment to think about which one you’d rather do, ride the carriage or see the play.”

  Louie looked up at Bridgette. “Mom, do you want to see the play more than ride the carriage?”

  Bodhi melted a little at Louie’s love for her.

  She crouched beside Bodhi, giving Louie her full attention. “I want to do whatever will make you happiest, honey.”

  Louie seemed to think about that as he turned to Bodhi again. “Can you watch The Lion King movie with me and Mommy when we go back home to our real house?”

  Bodhi considered himself a strong man, but that little boy was his kryptonite. He prayed he wouldn’t be called in before he had a chance to fulfill his promise. “Yes. I’d love to.”

  A short while later, after giving their tickets to The Lion King to a young family, they climbed into a carriage, with Louie safely seated between Bridgette and Bodhi. Bodhi stretched his arm across the back of the seat and rested his hand on Bridgette’s shoulder. She was wearing a blousy black tank top. Her skin was warm and familiar. His whole body seemed to shed tension at finally having the connection he’d craved all day. Their eyes met, and the fire he’d come to expect ignited between them, but that was nothing compared to the bigger emotions winding around them like a tether, binding the three of them in this moment of time. He should be worried about the powerful emotions, but after a lifetime of locking his emotions away, he wanted to soak in every second he could.

  Louie marveled at all the sights during their forty-five-minute carriage ride through Central Park. And he wasn’t shy about telling the driver that Sugar Lake was much prettier than the lake they rode past. He went on to tell the patient man about all the ways Sweetwater was better than New York City, and Bodhi wasn’t sure he disagreed. After their ride, they stopped for cotton candy, and since Louie was yawning every few minutes, Bodhi suggested they take a cab home.

  “I don’t want to take a cab. I like walking,” Louie said.

  Bodhi stifled a chuckle at Louie’s change of heart about cabs.

  “It’s a long walk, sweetie,” Bridgette warned him.

  “Several long blocks.”

  “I’m a big boy,” Louie insisted. “I can walk long blocks.”

  “I like your determination.” Bodhi touched Bridgette’s lower back. “What do you think? Are you up for the walk?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Louie held both of their hands and chatted about the carriage ride for the first two blocks. His chattiness slowed by the third block, as did their pace. When Louie’s hand went nearly limp in Bodhi’s, he stooped beside him. Louie’s eyelids were heavy, and his lips were stained pink from the cotton candy, as were his shirt and hands.

  “Hey, little dude,” Bodhi said. “I know you can walk the rest of the way, but I’m a little cold. Would you mind if I carried you to keep myself warm?”

  “Okay, but I can walk,” Louie said with another big yawn.

  Bodhi lifted him, and he snuggled in against his chest. Within minutes, his body was heavy with the weight of sleep. Bodhi had been wrong the other night when he told Bridgette that watching out for Dahlia was the same as watching out for Louie.

  Nothing compared to this.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THEY WALKED THE rest of the way home with Louie sleeping soundly on Bodhi’s chest and Bridgette snuggled against his side.

  Dahlia was so excited to see them, Bodhi had to take her right outside so she didn’t wake Louie. Bridgette changed Louie into his pajamas and tucked him into bed. He was so worn out, he remained asleep. She tucked Jeter in beside him and sat on the edge of the bed, admiring her sweet boy. He loved Bodhi the same way he loved Aurelia and their other close friends. She saw it in the way he looked at him and how he’d reached for Bodhi’s leg and not hers in the elevator. She had ached a little at that, in a good way. She wanted his world to be full of love, and thinking of Bodhi and Louie’s relationship in the same way she thought of Louie and her other friends helped her to put things into perspective. She heard the front door open and the heavy cadence of Bodhi’s footsteps coming down the hall.

  Her body prickled with anticipation.

  Dahlia trotted into the room beside Bodhi. “Hi, beautiful,” he whispered, and pointed to Louie, a question in his eyes.

  “He’s out cold.”

  He touched his lips to Louie’s forehead. “Night, little man.”

  The look in his eyes was so serene, she knew Louie had affected him just as deeply as he’d affected her boy. They headed for the door, and Bodhi patted his thigh for Dahlia to follow him out. The pup whimpered and rested her chin on the bed.

  “I think your boy has won over my dog. Do you mind if she stays with him while we hang out?”

  “Hang out?” Bridgette wrapped her arms around him and whispered, “Or make out?”

  His gaze darted to Louie.

  Oh, how she loved that, but she’d been patient all day, keeping the heat between them under wraps when she’d wanted to kiss and touch him every minute. Now it’s Mommy’s turn.

  “He’s out like a light,” she assured him.

  “Lie down,” he whispered to Dahlia.

  In one leap, Dahlia was on the bed, lying next to Louie. Bodhi took a step toward her, and Bridgette dragged him out of the room.

  “Let her be,” she whispered. “She’s your dog, Bodhi. Do you expect her to be any less protective than you are? Louie will probably sleep better with her beside him anyway.”

  In the hallway, he trapped her between the wall and his body. His eyes glowed with a savage inner fire as he brushed his lips over hers, and her whole body thrummed with anticipation.

  “Think he’ll sleep soundly enough for me to do dirty things to his mommy?”

  He lowered his mouth to her neck, and the first touch of his tongue earned a needy moan. She clamped her mouth shut as his hands moved down her hips, and he clutched her ass, holding her tight against his hard length.

  “Feel what you do to me, baby.” His breath sailed over her skin like summer heat.

  “Take me to your bedroom and I’ll show you how much more I want to do to you,” she promised.

  He took her hands, walking backward down the hall and raking his eyes hungrily over her, lingering on her mouth so long she salivated. His gaze slid lower, making every inch of her tingle and ache. She reached for him, and he drew her against him. Closing the door behind them, he wasted no time staking claim to her mouth. His tongue moved forcefully over hers, devouring her with such mastery, her ability to think ebbed. All their pent-up desires came rushing out as their clothes flew through the air, and they tumbled to the bed naked. They crawled under the covers in case Louie woke up, and Bridgette playfully pushed him onto his back. His eyes blazed into her as she straddled his thighs and slithered down his body, kissing his chest. He groaned and arched as she grazed her teeth over one nipple.

  “You drive me crazy, baby.”

  “Mm. That’s the plan.”

  He leaned up and captured her mouth, and then his hand was between her legs, dipping inside her, teasing and taunting, turning her into a wet, writhing bundle of need. He lifted her by the hips, and she guided his eager length to her center, sighing at the intense pleasure as she took in every blessed inch of him. He sealed his hot mouth over her breast, and she arched forward, clinging to him as he pumped his hips to a rhythm that took her right up to the brink of madness—and held her there. She squeezed her inner muscles, earning an utterly male and hot-as-hell groan. His hands were everywhere at once, groping her breasts, teasing her clit, touching her ass. Her body was on fire with the overwhelming sensations. In one dominant move, he shifted her onto her back and drove into her. She cried out in ecstasy, and he silenced her with his talented mouth. His hips thrust faster, deeper, until every ounce of her trembled. Just when she thought she’d burst, he angled his hips, and the next thrust sent her spir
aling into oblivion. He swallowed her sounds, masterfully drawing out her orgasm, until her name tore from his lungs and he surrendered to his own release.

  The kiss went from fierce to tender, and his hips pulsed slower, doling out one scintillating sensation after another, both of their bodies quaking in the aftermath of their passion. When he drew back and gazed into her eyes, there was no hiding from the truth. It wouldn’t matter what words were said or how many miles apart they would eventually be. She knew what love looked like.

  BODHI LAY NEXT to Bridgette long after they made love, knowing he’d never be able to sleep in his bed again without seeing her there in his arms. Was the universe cruel, or beautiful? He thought of the day they’d met in the bakery, and how many times they’d run into each other before finally coming together. He thought about the night he’d heard her talking through the walkie-talkie. She was like a beautiful gift. The person he wanted and the person he needed. He ran his hand over her hip, reveling in the feel of her and earning a sweet, sleepy smile. A gift he could borrow but not keep. Did the cruelty of that outweigh the beauty?

  He touched his lips to hers, pushing that worry away, and she snuggled closer. “Bridgette,” he whispered. “My sweet, beautiful Bridgette.”

  “Can I ask you something personal?” she asked.

  “Anything.”

  “How did you lose your father?”

  For a beat his body went rigid at the unexpected question. “He was killed in the war.”

  She lifted her face from his chest with empathy in her eyes, softening the shock. “Is that why you went into the military? You mentioned having a degree in horticulture, and it’s not exactly a natural progression, from flowers and plants to wars and guns.”

  “I would have gone into the military right after high school, but my mother insisted I get a degree.” He and his mother had rarely argued, but as a teenager he was full of piss and vinegar, and they’d argued for weeks over applying to colleges. She’d won, of course, because there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. Thinking of how many times his mother had asked him to step away from rescue missions, he corrected his thought. Almost nothing.

  “You enrolled after graduation?”

  “Enlisted.” He kissed her softly. “Yes, the day after my graduation ceremony. I spent several years in the Special Forces, and at the end of my second tour, I was recruited out by Darkbird, the company I work for now. They offered me a chance to do what I wanted to do and have a life outside the military, which I was more than ready for. Although some things remain the same. The missions are classified, which means I can’t talk about where I’m going or have any outside communication while I’m gone.”

  “Was your father in the Special Forces, too? Did he do rescues like you?”

  Bodhi felt his barriers clicking into place, and he held her a little tighter, hoping to keep them at bay.

  “My father was on a special combat team. They got ambushed, and he was taken prisoner.” A knot formed in his chest, but he forced himself to continue. “A rescue team went in, but the mission was compromised, and they were too late. They retrieved his body, and the bodies of two of the other guys.”

  “So much about you makes sense now.” Pain rose in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  She pressed her cheek to his chest and embraced him. It was exactly what he needed, because he wasn’t sure he could force many more words out.

  When the knot in his chest unraveled, he tipped her chin up and kissed her again.

  “People die in wars every day, and one day I might be one of them. That’s why this has to be short-lived. I have mandatory training a week from Sunday, and I could be called in for an assignment any day between now and then. Prisoners aren’t taken on schedules, and we don’t just rescue prisoners. We rescue troops who are stuck with no way out, and missions aren’t always successful. We’ve lost men, Bridge. Good, strong, smart men. A lot of them. I’ve seen families torn apart after they lose their brothers, sons, husbands, wives, mothers, and fathers. I heard my mother crying herself to sleep too many times, and saw her growing sad when my father’s name was mentioned by friends. I’ll never put you or Louie in that position.”

  “I know this isn’t the same, but you have Dahlia, and you love her. You’re her person. She looks at you like Louie looks at me. Aren’t you worried about leaving her behind?”

  “Sure, I worry about her, and my mother and Shira. But my mother watches Dahlia when I go away, and if something happens to me, my mother will take her. She’ll need Dahlia as much as I’ve needed her, and I feel good knowing they’ll have each other.”

  She was breathing harder, and his inclination was to soothe her with a kiss, but they needed to have this conversation, if for no other reason than to remind himself why he couldn’t allow his emotions to get the better of him.

  “How long are you usually away?” she asked just above a whisper.

  “It depends. Several days to several weeks. What do you really want to know, Bridgette? What don’t you understand, or what’s bothering you, beyond the obvious?”

  “I guess I’m curious about why you have a hard-and-fast rule about relationships. I understand and appreciate the line we’ve drawn, because I’ve lost someone I loved, and I don’t want to go through that again.” She pulled back, putting just a few inches of space between them, but when she lifted her chin, steeling herself for God only knew what, it felt like miles. “But I’m sure there are other women who would give anything to love you and be loved by you for whatever time they could get. Love can be the most wonderful, uplifting, life-affirming experience, and it makes me sad to think that you’re against ever allowing yourself to go there.”

  Aren’t I already there? hung on the tip of his tongue, but that confession had to remain locked away.

  “Bridgette,” he said gently, trying to quell the anger and hurt pummeling him from the inside out. “You just made love with me, and now you’re selling me on falling in love with someone else? Am I missing something? Do you need an out from this?”

  Her shoulders slumped, and sadness rose in her eyes, her strong facade crumbling right before his eyes. He took her in his arms, wishing things were different, that death wasn’t knocking on his door with every mission.

  “Is that what you really want, Bridge? Do you want me to fall in love with some other woman?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Is this too hard on you? Knowing I’ll leave soon?”

  “No,” she whispered. “It’s what we need to do. For Louie.”

  He knew better. It was what they needed to do for her, too, and if he were honest with himself, for him, as well. It was going to be hard enough leaving them, but leaving and knowing they were waiting on his return? That would distract him from doing what he needed to do for the people awaiting rescue, and that wasn’t a risk any of them could afford. He bit back the despair and forced himself to do the right thing.

  “That’s why we have to appreciate what we have right now.” He lowered his lips to hers, trying to escape the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. She wrapped her fingers around his arms and rolled onto her back, bringing him down over her. A stab of guilt lay buried deep inside his chest as he tipped her chin up and kissed her.

  “I never should have kissed you that very first time,” he whispered. “I knew it would never be enough.”

  “Then make it enough. Make love to me again and again until the very feel of each other is imprinted in our bodies.”

  “My beautiful girl . . .” There was no masking the love in his heart, or the regret in his voice.

  As their bodies came together with the heat and passion of a couple on the brink of an unwanted separation, Bodhi was no longer filling moments of physical desire. He was filling his soul with her, allowing his anguish over leaving to fall away, until there was nothing but Bridgette.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  FOR ALL THE calm Bridgette had felt in the days leading up to meeting Bodhi’s m
other, when Sunday arrived, she was a nervous wreck. She took her shower while Louie slept, and after she dressed, she found Louie helping Bodhi cook waffles. She stood outside the kitchen watching her little man standing on a chair, pouring batter onto the waffle iron with her big man’s help. Bodhi kept one hand protectively around Louie’s waist and spoke in a low, patient voice.

  “That’s it. Perfect.” Bodhi took the measuring cup Louie was using to pour the batter from him and set it on the counter. “Now we close the lid and let it cook.”

  “Sometimes my mom burns my waffles.”

  Great. At five he was already throwing her under the bus.

  “I burn them sometimes, too,” Bodhi said.

  Thank you for having my back.

  “My grandma never burns them.”

  “Grandmas are pretty special. They know how to do everything,” Bodhi said.

  “Did your grandma teach you to make waffles?” Louie rested his head on Bodhi’s shoulder.

  Bridgette took out her phone and snapped a few pictures. She typed a quick text to Willow. Ovary overload. When can you babysit?

  “No, little dude. My father did, when I was a year or two older than you.” He opened the waffle maker, and steam rose into the air.

  “Whoa! That’s cool. Did your dad show you that, too?”

  “Sure did.” Bodhi grabbed a fork and used it to take the waffle out and put it on a plate. They set to work pouring more batter. “We used to have a cabin in the woods, and we’d get up before my mother and make waffles just like these.”

  Bridgette’s phone was still on silent, and it lit up with Willow’s text. She opened and read it quickly. OMG! Cute! Wednesday night, and Zane can stay with Louie until Mom picks him up Thursday morning. Okay?

  “With chocolate chips?” Louie asked as Bodhi closed the lid on the waffle iron.