Catching Cassidy Page 14
“What did you do?”
“Blocked Kyle’s number.” He rises to his feet.
“Thank you, but as far as Wyatt goes, he wasn’t jealous, Tristan. You guys weren’t there. The guy was forcing himself on me. Wyatt was protecting me.”
Tristan nods. “I know he was, but trust me. I know guys. Or at least sometimes I think I do. Right now I’m questioning my own knowledge in that department.” Sadness passes over his face again, then he shakes his head and the sadness becomes compassion. “I’ve seen you guys together. It’s different from the way it was last summer. In this case, jealousy and protectiveness kind of go hand in hand. Listen, Wyatt’s down at the Taproom working with Jesse. Want to go down and get a drink?”
I shake my head. I’m not ready to try to break the ice. What if Tristan is wrong about Wyatt? What if Wyatt doesn’t want what I want, and this is the only way he knows to turn me away?
“Okay. Hang in there, hon. This will all be water under the bridge in no time.”
I watch Tristan leave, then turn away from the door and look out the window, wishing I could figure out what to do about Wyatt. When my phone vibrates again, a pain sears through my stomach. Tristan must not have blocked Kyle’s number right. I pick up the phone, ready to type a nastier message, like, Fuck off Kyle. I’m done, when I see Wyatt’s picture appear on the screen.
My heart skips a beat. I’m afraid to look at the text. What if he tells me that he made a mistake and he needs me to move out? What if he’s pissed because he got in another fight because of me? With shaky fingers, I open the first text and read it.
It’s been weeks since my parents died and it still hurts like hell. It’s been 6 days since Delilah moved out, and even though we’ve made up, that hurts like hell, too. But the last 144 hours have been the worst of my life because you and I have grown so far apart.
The worst in his life? He cares. I read the text again, and another comes through before I’m done.
I get it if you want to go someplace else. I’ve been an asshole and I’m sorry. If you want to get a short-term apartment or fly to see your parents, I’ll pay for whatever you need. We have money from our parents, so it’s not a problem. But
But? The text bubble must have run out of characters, and I think I’m going to die if the next one doesn’t come through fast. My phone vibrates again with another text, and I scroll to it with my heart in my throat. I pull it up and devour the words as fast as I can.
But I wish you would stay.
I read the message at least twenty times. I read it until the words blur together from the tears in my eyes. I read it again and again, until I can feel his presence, smell his scent. I read it until it’s memorized and there’s nothing left to do but try to remember how to breathe.
I read the text again, because it brings his whisper to my ears, and I’ve missed hearing him so much that I want to soak it in. Every breathy sound, the way the S’s slide off his tongue like a secret. I read it again, hoping and praying I can hear his voice again. When it doesn’t come, I close my eyes and clutch my phone to my chest. I swear I can feel him right here with me. I open my eyes and turn toward my bedroom door—and my heart stills. Wyatt’s standing beside my bed, reaching a hand out toward me. I blink several times and I look at the phone, sure I’ve conjured him up in my confused head. Then his warm hand is on mine, and his green eyes are reaching for me, too, and my body is moving without my head telling it what to do. I stand on the bed and leap into his arms, knocking him backward into the wall. My arms and legs wrap around him like an octopus, and I kiss his forehead, his cheeks, his chin, everywhere except his lips, because something in my head is working. I somehow understand that my friend is back. My friend. My very best friend in the whole wide world, and he filled my emptiness in the space of a second.
~Wyatt~
CASSIDY’S IN MY arms, pressing her body to mine. She’s here. Really here with me. Those are the things that are going through my mind. I can’t believe we’re finally together again, and all the angst of the last week falls away. She smells like heaven, and her lips feel so good, pressing against every inch of my face, except the one place I desperately want them to land. She’s holding me so tightly that every part of me aches for her. I never want her soft lips to stop touching my skin or for her grip on me to ease. She’s kissing me fast and hard, and my hands are roaming up her back, into her hair, down to her ass, and I can’t stop them. I want so much more of her. I want all of her—her heart, her words, her thoughts, her love. I feel her heart beating fast and crazy against mine, and I close my eyes and revel in the feel of her in my arms. How did I survive six days without her? Without holding her hand or seeing her smile. My mind goes foggy as her lips touch the corner of mine. That tiny touch, that tiny taste, sends a bolt of heat through me, and I close my eyes against it, but my hand is already fisting in her hair and tilting her head back. I bring my lips to her neck, and I can feel her frantic pulse with my tongue. Damn, she tastes good. Her skin is warm and salty, and…I can’t stop myself. I kiss her neck and feel her fingers digging into my back, her hips pressing against my abs as she tightens her legs around my waist.
Every muscle in my body flexes as I strain to refrain from doing more of what I want to do so badly. I tug her head back and search her dark, hungry eyes. They’re too seductive for me to turn away from. I’m pushing her lips toward mine, but I can’t control myself.
“Cass?” A whisper. A plea.
She doesn’t answer, just looks into my eyes and tightens her grip on my back again. Her lips part, and I don’t know if it’s an invitation or a warning. Although every ounce of me wants her, the rational side of my brain is waving red flags like there’s a bomb coming. But when Cassidy whispers, “Kiss me,” I’m powerless to resist her.
Our lips crash together like we’ve broken free from a lifetime behind bars. Her lips are soft, but the pressure of our mouths coming together for the first time is rough and needful. I want to lay her down beneath me and tear her clothes off, feel her passion while buried deep inside her. But this is Cassidy, and while our mouths are claiming each other, my mind slowly comes back into focus and my grip on the back of her head eases. Cassidy’s eyes are still closed as our lips part. She’s breathing hard, and for a split second I drink in her swollen, pink lips, the beautiful bow of them, and the fluttering of her long lashes as she opens her eyes and meets my gaze for the first time since we’ve crossed this invisible line.
Her lips curve up a little more, and I know, I just know, that what I’m about to do is exactly what we both want. I loosen my fist in her hair and bring her lips to mine, brushing them lightly together. I run my tongue along her lower lip, then memorize the swell of the top. Finally, I press my lips to her gently, savoring the sensation of our tongues exploring each other’s mouths. We fit together perfectly. The gentle pressure of our mouths lingering, tasting, savoring is the most incredible sensation I’ve ever experienced. I take her lower lip between my teeth. She stills, and her breathing becomes shallow as I love her mouth with the attention it deserves. Her eager tongue meets mine stroke for stroke, and I feel her body melt into me. The tension in her hands eases, and a sexy little noise leaves her lungs and fills mine, pulling a heady moan of desire in return. Our lips part, lingering a breath apart, then come together again, like we need each other to survive.
Cassidy’s hands slip to the back of my neck, then slide into my hair. She moans again, and I kick the door closed behind us. Our lips part with the slam of the door, hesitate against each other, then they come together again and it’s nowhere near enough. I need more of her. I trap her lower lip between my teeth again and give it a gentle tug. Her lips curve up with the tease, and I drag my tongue across the tender spot I’m sure I’ve left. She arches her neck, and my teeth graze her jaw, her cheek. She’s panting, her eyes pleading for more. I settle my mouth over her neck and suck gently, feeling her body shudder against mine. Somewhere in my head thoughts are ping-ponging, tell
ing me not to lower her to the bed and follow her down even as I’m doing it. I know I should back away, but I don’t. I can’t. I push the unwanted thoughts away.
Our hands and mouths take the feel of the mattress as a green light, and we paw and grope, fervently tasting as much of each other’s exposed flesh as we can. I’m hard as a rock, and when she presses her hips against mine and makes a sound of appreciation in her chest, my entire body thrums with desire. One hand grips her hip while the other slides beneath her shirt. Her nipple rises to a taut peak beneath my fingers and I need to taste it. I need to taste her. I tear her shirt up over her chest and pull her bra strap down her arm, freeing one beautiful, full breast. Christ. I’ve seen plenty of boobs in my life, but nothing compares to seeing Cassidy’s. My chest feels full, and an emotion I’ve never felt before washes over me. I pause to really look at her, but I don’t just see her bare breast. Her eyes are still closed, and as I take in the upturned edges of her slightly parted lips, the feel of her body trembling against me, I realize the unfamiliar emotion is honor. I’m honored that she trusts me to be this close to her.
I hesitate long enough for her to stop me if she wants to. She presses my head down, and I take her rosy nipple into my mouth, licking circles around the peak, teasing it with my teeth, earning me a heated moan that spears more heat through me. I move to her other breast, groping the first with my hand while devouring the other. My hips are grinding against her hot center, and she’s returning each move thrust for thrust. We’re totally in sync, and nothing has ever felt so right. I manage to quiet the voices in my head, hoping they’re gone for good.
My hand trembles with need as I reach for the button of her shorts. I hear something in the distance, but I’m too lost in finally coming together with Cassidy to know or care what it is. I take her breast in my mouth again as I unzip her pants and slide my hand beneath her panties. Christ, her skin is so smooth. She’s shaved bare, and she’s wet. So fucking wet. She arches against my hand, and our mouths come together as my fingers dip inside her. She rides my hand like she’s been craving it forever. Neither of us hears the doorknob, but it must have turned, because the door swings open, and we both startle.
“Oh, shit.” Tristan backs out of the room fast, closing the door behind him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says through the door.
I touch my forehead to hers and close my eyes, trying to reel in my desires.
“Cassidy,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.” I withdraw my hand from her pants and gently pull down her shirt.
She doesn’t respond, but her hands press against the back of my head, keeping me near.
“God, Cass. Where’d this come from?”
“Don’t know,” she says breathlessly. “Don’t care.”
There’s a knock on the door, and her eyes widen.
“Uh, guys. I’m sorry. So sorry.” It’s Tristan again.
Feeling protective of Cassidy, I roll to my side, blocking her from the door, even though it’s closed. Guilt swamps me. She trusted me. She’s the one person I don’t want to lose from my life, and what do I do? I let my feelings overtake what I know is right. The look in Delilah’s eyes when she asked me if I hooked up with Cassidy comes rushing back. The concern in Jesse’s eyes when he asked if I’d slept with her bowls me over. They both know the kind of guy I’ve always been, and it makes me feel low and unworthy of Cassidy’s trust. Of her emotions. Jesus, what was I thinking?
“But, um…” Tristan’s voice is hesitant. “I thought you’d want to know that Brandon’s band is here, and they’re setting up out on the deck.”
We listen as his footsteps descend the stairs.
I reach down and button Cassidy’s shorts, zip her zipper, knowing that if I’m really going to protect Cassidy, then I need to protect our friendship, too. Despite the way my heart feels full for the first time in my entire life and the way our kisses were like nothing I’ve ever experienced before, I know what we’re both dealing with this summer. And I know I can’t survive the loss of my parents without her friendship.
This was a mistake, and one I can’t afford, and neither can she. I feel like my heart’s breaking into a million little pieces, and I’m afraid I might not ever be able to put it back together.
Cassidy’s looking up at me with trusting eyes, and I desperately want to disappear into her with another incredible kiss. I want to forget what I have to say, and I know that’s not an option. I went six days without my best friend. I can’t…I’m not willing to risk that again.
“I’m sorry, Cass. I don’t know what came over me. We shouldn’t have…”
She turns away as I sit up.
“We can’t do this. We can’t risk our friendship. It was a mistake.”
“A…” She folds her arms over her stomach, and her shoulders round forward.
I feel her disappointment like a knife to my gut.
“Right,” she whispers.
“Cass, I’m sorry. It’s all this stuff that’s going on, and…” And I want you more than I’ve ever wanted another woman in my life. I want her to hear those words so badly, but we can’t be together, and they would only push the knife deeper into both of our hearts.
Her cheeks are flushed, and her lips are still pink. She swings her legs over the other side of the bed and lets her hair fall around her face like a shield. I have to say something. I want to say something, but what I want to say and have to say are two different things, and I have trouble forcing the words from my lungs. Every time I open my mouth to speak, no words come. There’s a war going on in my head. I want to take her in my arms and bury myself deep inside her, forgetting what’s right or wrong, and do what we both want. Take us both to that intimate, erotic place that I know will feel so damn good it’ll be worth everything I’m feeling right now. As these thoughts careen through my mind, cording my muscles tight, I know I shouldn’t do it. I don’t know how to be the man Cassidy deserves, and I can’t lose what we have.
“Cass, I’m sorry. I don’t want things to be weird between us.” I’m a fucking idiot. How can they not be weird? Jesus, I really am a prick. Right now I hate my parents, and I hate Tristan for interrupting us. I know I shouldn’t hate any of them, but maybe if my parents hadn’t died, I wouldn’t have known how I really feel about Cassidy. Or if Tristan hadn’t come in…I don’t even let my thoughts go there, because it makes me more of an ass. I would have made love to her until we both forgot how to speak, and that would have been worse than trying to get over a little heavy petting and a kiss. Even the best kiss of my life.
“They won’t be.” She fixes her bra and shirt and crosses her arms over her chest. A barrier between us.
I add that to the list of things I hate.
“You sure?” I close my eyes, not wanting to hear her cuss me out for letting us go too far. Jesus, my fingers were inside her. I know how she tastes. I know how she feels. How can anything ever be the same again? Anger swells within me. It’s a goddamn good thing Tristan interrupted us. Otherwise I’d know what it felt like to really love her, to be buried deep inside her, and then what? We would have been stuck trying to navigate through that in our friendship.
She gets up and goes into the bathroom without saying a word, closing the door softly behind her. I sit on her bed for a few minutes, knowing I’ve fucked up. What’s worse is that after kissing her, after touching her, I realize that all these feelings I have for her aren’t sudden at all. They’re filling my body, my mind, and I know they’re just surfacing after years of repressing them.
I get up and stand by the closed bathroom door, wondering if she’s regretting what we did. She’s the only woman I want and the one woman I can’t have.
By doing what I think is right for both of us, I feel like she’s being ripped from my life, just like my parents were. Only it hurts so much worse.
Chapter Fifteen
~Cassidy~
I DON’T KNOW what’s worse, wanting to be with Wyatt or knowing Wyatt thinks being with me w
as a mistake. Or, of course, the most embarrassing of all, having Tristan walk in when Wyatt’s hand was down my pants. I look up at the deck from where I’m standing on the beach, among a sea of people I don’t know, and I feel like I took one giant leap forward and was kicked in the face and thrown a hundred steps back. It hurts like hell. When I came out of the bathroom, Wyatt was gone. I heard him in his shower, and I came downstairs before I could run into him again. It was easy to get lost in the crowd. Apparently, Brandon and his bandmates know every person who lives in Harborside, because by the time Brandon and the others finished setting up their equipment on the deck, the house and the beach are packed.
Brandon’s band is playing one of their songs that I recognize from last summer, though I don’t know the words.
“Hey, Cassidy.” Jesse startles me when he puts a hand on my lower back. I didn’t hear him approaching. He’s dressed in his usual jeans and T-shirt with a chain running from his belt loop to his wallet in his back pocket. I don’t have to look to know he’s wearing his boots. He always wears boots, despite the fact that it’s summer. “How are you?”
“Hi, Jesse. I’m good, and you?” I’m getting really good at lying. I’m glad I’m good sounded believable. What I’d really like to say is, Totally sucky right now, thank you very much. Tristan just caught Wyatt with his hand down my pants, Wyatt says it was a mistake, and I want to make that mistake over and over and over.
“Okay. I’m going to be taking off for a few days. Did Wyatt ask you about going over the books?” He runs a hand through his long hair and shakes it out, scanning the crowd as if he’s looking for Wyatt.
“Uh. Wyatt and I haven’t really talked much.” Unless you count moaning into each other’s mouths.
“Oh?” Jesse draws his brows together.
“I was just about to ask her.” Wyatt drapes an arm over my shoulder and one around Jesse’s, and I wonder if he and Tristan attended the same sneak-up-on-others class. “Cassidy, can you show me how to reconcile the bar books tomorrow?”