Wicked Whiskey Love Read online

  Bones ground out a curse and drew her into his arms. This time she came willingly, allowing him to shift their bodies so he could hold her closer. He lifted her legs over one of his, holding her against his chest, and pressed a kiss to her forehead, wanting to seek vengeance and protect her in equal measure. “Nobody will ever hurt you again. And before you tell me you don’t need saving, you’re right. You’ve proven that several times, but it doesn’t hurt to have backup.”

  “IS THAT HOW you convinced Thomas to let you hang around? As backup?” Sarah’s lame attempt at humor didn’t work. Bones looked like he wanted to kill someone, and he didn’t even know the half of it. She wanted to tell him the rest of her story, but talking about it had thrown her right back into that awful house again. She was exhausted, and even with his arms around her, her insides were all knotted up.

  “I stuck to him like glue,” Bones said. “Just like I have since I met you.” He hugged her tighter, making her smile despite the ugliness she’d just revealed.

  “You are pretty sticky,” she said, breathing a little easier. “I’m okay, Bones. I survived, and eventually with some help from Reagan’s brother and his friend Reggie Steele, a private investigator, I was able to reunite with Scott. And then, with Reggie’s help, we were able to track down Josie.”

  “That’s good, Sarah.”

  “Sort of. She was bartending about forty-five minutes away. We had to call and leave messages at her work, because we didn’t have her number or a stable address. Reggie looked, but I guess she moves around a lot. She was less than receptive to our calls, but we kept trying. The area where she worked was pretty scary, so Scott and I decided to try to start over as a family here, with the hopes of eventually reuniting with her. The night of the accident I called the bar where she worked from the hospital, and she must have heard how upset I was because she didn’t hang up on me. But when she came to see us that night, she wasn’t the same person I remembered. None of us were. She was so hateful and angry. I don’t know why she feels that way toward us, but we’ve all been through so much. I guess I understand being angry at the world. She only stayed at the hospital for a few minutes and she hasn’t returned our calls since. I’m just glad she’s alive, and I have hope that maybe someday she’ll want some sort of relationship.”

  “Have you driven there to see her?”

  She nodded. “Once, right after Scott got out of the hospital. She no longer works at the bar, and they didn’t know where she was living or working.”

  “Did they have a cell number for her?” Bones asked.

  “I know it seems weird in today’s world, but they said she didn’t have one. I’ve had nothing, Bones. I know what it’s like to wonder where your next meal will come from. Believe it or not, cell phones really are luxuries.”

  “I understand. Would you mind if I tried to track her down?”

  “I don’t think she wants to be found. She knows we live here, and she hasn’t reached out.”

  Bones didn’t push for an answer about Josie, which was good, because she wasn’t sure if he should try to track her down or not. She knew what it meant to want to leave a life behind, and if in Josie’s mind she needed to leave Sarah and Scott behind, as much as it hurt, maybe she should let her.

  “Thank you for trusting me enough to share your past with me,” he said as he draped a blanket around her. “I’m sorry for everything you went through. I wish I could have been there to protect all of you, but I’m here now. I know we should get back soon, but I just want a few minutes to hold you.”

  She didn’t try to be her own hero, or prove she didn’t need him, because in that moment, even though she missed her children, this was exactly what she needed. He was exactly what she needed. As he held her, expecting nothing in return, the tension inside her eased, and the soothing sounds of the water lapping at the boat came into focus. The amber lights twinkled against the dark sky, and she closed her eyes, sinking into his comfort.

  Her baby kicked, and she guided his hands lower on her belly and placed hers over them. She felt another kick.

  “Oh, man. That’s incredible, darlin’. This baby is strong like its mama.”

  “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the feeling.” She was talking about the baby’s kicks and Bones’s comfort.

  “The miracle of life is a beautiful thing.” His big hand moved over her belly. “Hey, I have an idea. What are you doing Saturday?”

  “I have to be at work at three. Why?”

  “My buddy Nick Braden owns a horse ranch in Pleasant Hill. His dog had puppies a few weeks ago, and he’s got pygmy goats and chickens. It might be fun to take the kids before it gets too cold.”

  She glanced over her shoulder. He still looked a little tortured from the information she’d shared, but beneath the shadows was the compassion and pure maleness that made butterflies take flight inside her. Would he shed his skin one day, too?

  Will I ever stop waiting for the other shoe to drop?

  “Are you asking me on a kid date?” she asked lightly.

  “I took you and your kids out before I asked you on a real date. Remember the fundraiser?”

  It was a day she’d never forget. Not only because he’d stuck to her like glue then, too, but because of how the community had come together to help her family.

  “Come to think of it,” he said with a sly grin, “I picked you guys up, hung out with you, bandaged up Bradley’s scraped knee, changed diapers. I think that counts as a kid date. And I had lunch with you and Bradley the first week we met, remember? In the hospital?”

  She’d never forget that day, either. He’d come in to check on her and the kids several times even though he wasn’t their doctor. Initially, he’d said he’d come in because Bullet had wanted to make sure they were okay. But she’d wondered why he’d kept coming back. It was in those first few days when her family was in the hospital that she’d first felt a connection more substantial than as an acquaintance to him. He’d sit down for fifteen or twenty minutes and talk, asking as many questions about how she was feeling as he did about her family’s healing.

  “You mean when you came in and I was eating the food Finlay brought?” she asked, though she knew that’s exactly what he meant. He hadn’t eaten, but he’d stayed while she did.

  “Yes. You were sitting on the edge of Bradley’s bed, wearing a pretty pale blue blouse and white pants. Your hair was piled on top of your head in a messy bun, like you hadn’t slept in days, and I knew you hadn’t been sleeping because you were so worried about your babies and your brother. I wanted to make sure you were at least eating. You were feeding Bradley.”

  “You told me to make sure Mama got some, too,” she remembered fondly.

  After her children were released from the hospital, he’d stopped by the house with bags of groceries and little surprises for the kids. He’d stuck around, making small talk, slowly becoming such a big part of their life, her kids looked forward to seeing him. She did, too, but until this very second, she hadn’t even admitted that to herself. He’d taken care of her in ways that no one else ever had. How could she have chalked that up to him just being a kind friend or a curious doctor? She was beginning to realize how skewed her views were, and she wondered if having her guard up for so many years had made her oblivious to even more acts of kindness.

  “That’s right,” he said. “That should count as a kid date, too. And Bradley was my riding partner at the Halloween parade. Kid date. We also met Bear and Crystal for dinner with the kids and Scott a couple of weeks ago at Woody’s Burgers. Another kid date. I think we’ve been going on kid dates for a while now.”

  Oh boy, he’s kind of right. Plus, tonight was a more intimate, and more revealing, evening than she’d ever shared with anyone. And yes, her desires had taken over, and that was a little embarrassing afterward—and very exciting during—but there was so much more than that between them.

  She knew the risks of becoming too attached, and she also knew that no ma
tter how much she fought it, how much she denied it, where Bones was concerned, her heart was already at risk. But she didn’t want to monopolize his time or become a burden. “Don’t you usually go riding with Bear and your friends on the weekends?”

  “Sometimes, but a man has got to have priorities.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek and said, “Say yes, Sarah. Keep letting me in.”

  God, he was looking at her that way again, like hearing her agree was all he’d ever wanted. A thrill of delight chased over her skin, bringing rise to goose bumps. She was afraid to believe this could be real between them, but every time she looked into his eyes, it felt too real to deny.

  “Okay,” she said, reveling in the way happiness lit up his eyes.

  She had never had many blessings to count, but right then, being in his arms and thinking about the way his family had embraced hers, she felt like a glutton. “I’ve never been particularly lucky, but my babies are my miracles. Reuniting with Scott was a miracle. Bullet finding us after the accident and everything that followed was a miracle. And for a girl like me, who wasn’t sure she’d survive to be seventeen, being here with you feels like a miracle, too.”

  “It’s not a miracle, darlin’. It’s destiny.” He kissed her softly and then said, “And one day, hopefully Josie will come back and she’ll be on your list of miracles, too.”

  Chapter Nine

  “YOU’VE GOT AN extra bounce in your step this morning,” Scott said to Sarah when she carried Lila into the kitchen at the crack of dawn the next morning. He was leaning against the counter in sweats and a white T-shirt, holding a coffee mug in one hand. His hair was damp from the shower. “I guess your date went well?”

  “Mm-hm. Very well,” she said, trying not to sound like a schoolgirl with a crush, which was difficult considering she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Bones since he’d kissed her good night last night. Their kisses had gone on and on, even better than the daydreams she’d had as a young girl when she’d watched the magical moments of others and then written about her own. She set Lila in the high chair and put a handful of Cheerios on the tray. “I hear you were sneaky and helped with the lights on his boat.”

  She still couldn’t believe Bones had a boat.

  Scott sipped his coffee, watching her with a curious expression. “He’s a pretty romantic guy.”

  “You can say that again.” She gave Lila some juice and began mixing ingredients for blueberry pancakes. Romantic, thoughtful, a mind-blowing kisser, and more… “Thank you again for watching the kids. You wore Bradley out. He’s still out like a light.”

  “I had some help. The girls and I took them for a walk.” He made her a cup of coffee, eyeing the pancakes. “I have physical therapy in forty minutes. Think you can squeeze in a few extras for me?”

  “Always.” She poured batter into the pan.

  Scott pressed a kiss to Lila’s head. “Morning, peach.” She held her hand out, offering him a palmful of sticky cereal. He chuckled. “No, thank you. You eat that. I’ll wait for your mama’s delicious pancakes.”

  “I don’t know about delicious, but then again, I can’t remember what anything other than allergen-free foods taste like.”

  “You’re not missing out on much,” he said as she cut up a pancake for Lila and then handed Scott a plate for himself. He touched her hand, which he did when he wanted to slow her down. “Did you tell Bones the truth?”

  After he’d blurted out information she’d rather have told Bones herself, she’d asked Scott not to talk about their past until she had a chance to tell Bones what their lives had been like. “Most of it.” She turned back to the stove to flip her pancakes. She hadn’t even told Scott everything she’d been through. Some ghosts were better left buried.

  “Sarah, nobody is going to judge you because we had shitty parents.”

  She knew that wasn’t true. She sat down beside Lila with her coffee and pancakes. “I guess you don’t remember how I was never allowed to go to birthday parties or playdates. Or how eventually kids stopped asking. Other families might not have wanted to get involved, and they turned a blind eye, but I don’t believe for a second that they didn’t judge us. Or at least me.”

  He speared a piece of pancake with his fork and pointed it at her. “They were ignorant. Bones isn’t.”

  “I know. I told him about Mom and Dad. I told him about how we all left.” She took a bite and watched her daughter shove a tiny fistful of pancake into her mouth. She couldn’t imagine ever feeling anything but love for her children. “Do you remember how old we were when things went bad? Was there ever a happier time? I always wondered if maybe there was an incident, something that changed how they treated us.”

  “Dad was always a prick, and Mom was always a bitch. It’s a wonder we both didn’t turn out to be more effed up.” He finished his pancakes and sat back. “What I want to know is how Josie ended up worse off than either of us.”

  Scott had gone through so much after the accident, they hadn’t talked about Josie’s odd visit in any great detail. Sarah had wanted to lately, but it was like jumping into a volcano of awful possibilities. “Did you ever find out where she went after she left? Or who she left with?”

  “No. We were lucky to track her down at all. I looked for both of you for so long, but I had no idea what state you were in, much less what city. I was relying on word of mouth because, you know, I couldn’t afford a PI back then. You used that girl’s license, so now I know how you went invisible. I assume Josie did the same thing. Paid under the table, living in shelters, making her way by whatever means she could. I’ve said this before, and I’ll probably say it until the day I die. I wish I’d never left you two that night.”

  She gazed at him across the table, pain and love swallowing her up. “I’ve thought the same thing about my leaving Josie. But one thing I’ve learned is that wishing something didn’t happen won’t make it go away. You helped both of us with the money you put in the account. And you know Dad would have had you arrested if you’d come back or if you’d tried to take us with you. I have no doubt that he would have done the same to me if I had taken Josie.”

  “Yeah, but now we know there were other options. We could have gone to social services or the police.”

  Sarah finished her pancakes and put her dishes in the sink. Then she wet a washcloth and cleaned Lila’s hands. “That’s true, but even if someone had told us to do that, would you have done it? Because I know for a fact I wouldn’t have. I’d have been too scared that they wouldn’t believe us and then we’d suffer even more.”

  She lifted Lila from the high chair and set her down by her toy bucket near the glass doors, so she could clean up from breakfast. Scott began washing the dishes as she cleaned Lila’s tray.

  “Did you tell him about Lewis?” Scott asked.

  “Not specifics, but he knows he exists and that things weren’t good. I’m a lot to take in, Scott. I know you don’t think so, but I’ve got two kids, another on the way, a past that should scare off anyone in their right mind, and I have trust and intimacy issues. As much as I like and trust Bones, which I do, it’s scary for me to believe he doesn’t have some kind of fake persona, because that’s all I know.”

  He gave her a pitying look that quickly turned to disbelieving. “It’s not all you know. I’ve never been fake a day in my life.”

  “You know what I mean. I’m trying to stop thinking that way, at least about Bones and his family. But when something has shadowed so much of your life, it’s hard to go against the grain.”

  “Try harder, Sarah. I trust the guy completely, or he wouldn’t be anywhere near you or your kids.” He went back to washing the dishes. “Dixie asked if the kids ever see their father.”

  An icy chill skated down Sarah’s spine. “Over my dead body.”

  “Let’s not go there.” He handed her a towel to dry the pan he’d washed.

  “Do you think Josie will ever come around?”

  He shrugged. “From wha
t you said, she was a mess.”

  “I know. I’ve been wanting to ask you something.” Every time she’d asked him about his personal life, he’d blown her off, but after last night, she wanted answers. “Why did you give up your job on the rigs and let me move in with you? I know you said you wanted to move here because of Josie, but you never hesitated to start over. Until last night, I never wondered why that was. I just accepted it. I figured we both wanted to rebuild what family we could. You know, two broken people trying to make ends meet. But when Dixie was flirting with you, I realized you’re more than my brother, Scott, and you’re not broken like I am. You’re open about what we went through, and you don’t seem to have as many issues letting people into your life. You’re a good-looking, smart guy who had a great job. Why on earth would you give it all up for a job at a marina, and why are you still alone, Scott?”

  Lila squealed, drawing their attention. She’d pulled herself up against the patio door, watching a squirrel eating from the feeder. When they’d first moved in, Lila had been enamored by the squirrels in the backyard. They’d hung a squirrel feeder in the tree closest to the house, and now she watched them nearly every morning.

  “That’s a squirrel, Lila,” Sarah said, even though she knew there was no way her little girl could say that complicated word. She waited for Scott to answer, but he was silent for so long, she had a feeling he wasn’t going to.

  Bradley toddled into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and leaned against Sarah’s legs.

  She lifted him into her arms and kissed his cheek. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”